Heroes
by ChronicallyinFlaming
Summary: In a grimy, crime-ridden city, Kameman and his gang of superheroes is all that stands between the peaceful citizens and chaos. Nothing is more important. So of course when a woman tries to kill him and his friends, he falls in love. K/18, G/C, V/B
1. Issue Number 121

**Heroes**

'And you'll keep my identity a secret  
And you will know the touch beneath my glove  
And I may go out every night and risk my life for strangers  
But you're the only girl I'll ever love'

Four Color Love Story, Metasciences

'**I was home entertaining guests  
I fell off the chair and cracked open my head  
Bees flew out and they flew up their skirts 'cause they wanted to travel the world**

**Keep it upstairs for the grand finale  
I keep it upstairs**

**Gonna be a blank slate, gonna wear a white cape  
But I keep it upstairs**

**Gonna jump out of a cake with my heart on a string'**

**Blank Slate, National**

'A heart that's full up like a landfill  
A job that slowly kills you  
Bruises that won't heal  
You look so tired, unhappy

I'll take the quiet life  
A handshake of carbon monoxide

No alarms and no surprises'

No Surprises, Radiohead

'I always thought that he should just quit all the intergalactic stuff, move into some suburbs and start a super hero gig, and just fight regular bad guys.'

Sonny Strait, in an interview with Jon Allen, about Krillin

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-O**

"I'd think Vegeta did this, but that would mean he had a sense of humor."

She looked irritated. The oversized, novelty needle took on a dangerous air. Somehow, he swore her short dress rode up more.

It had started off as such an ordinary evening. Goku had arrived first, carrying a case of beer, devoured most of the pizza, and eventually his other friends showed up. They drank and watched TV and joked about Goku's wedding night. Sure, maybe it wasn't the most original bachelor party. No one would give him an award for throwing it. But it was peaceful. And after everything they'd been through lately, maybe that was for the best.

A chance to rest and just sit around with your shoes off was valuable in their line of work. So that's what they did.

Until this.

Everyone went home, gradually. He'd heard a knock at the door, and politely puzzled, had gone to answer it. Had someone left behind their keys…? Getting up had been better than fighting with his friend over the last piece of pizza. Then he'd found a blonde haired woman outside his door, grimly dressed in a black overcoat.

"Hello." Her voice was chilly and uninterested. "Is Goku here?" Unimpressed.

"Y-yes."

Then she'd nearly shoved him aside to enter the apartment.

Krillin managed to look up from his shoes. "Um. This is nice and all, but we don't have any…" He looked back down again. "We don't have any cash. To pay you."

"It's already paid for. I do however, have a job to do." With her arms crossed and her old-fashioned cap tipped back, she wasn't exactly what he'd imagined a stripper to be. Of course, he'd never met one before, or seen one outside a movie or television. But still. Didn't they smile a lot more? Maybe she was having an off day?

When she stepped forward, both Krillin and Goku flinched back. "Now, which one of you is Goku?"

They both pointed a finger at each other. Now, she looked a unnerved. Krillin felt a little bad. It wasn't that she wasn't pretty or anything, she was gorgeous, but well. Goku was about to get married. And he, well, he still hoped that maybe he might run into his ex again and patch things up. Or meet someone brand new that he could tell people he'd met clothed and not sliding bills into her underwear.

Not that this lady would. She wouldn't. She wouldn't do anything like that, would she?

The blonde woman found a pair of rubber gloves and snapped them on authoritatively. She gave them a hard look with a pair of cold blue eyes, then went into the bedroom. The black bag in her hand looked ominous. Krillin shivered. This definitely wasn't like the strippers from television acted.

Her voice echoed through the empty bachelor pad. "As soon as you figure out which one of you is actually Goku, then come see me."

"I can't go in there." Goku grabbed his shoulder and shook it. The force of it shook the entire couch. "I hate needles. I don't see why I have to get a shot."

Krillin looked at his best friend for a long time.

"Alright. I'll go in there." Then his face went red. Hopefully, when his friends found out, they would only think that a nice nurse had stopped by and that was it. Wait. That was it. He wasn't actually going to do anything. And she was just a stripper right? Not a…other type of person who showed up in revealing clothes for sexual purposes. If he went in there, would he find her laying naked on his bed?

For a brief second, he wished Master Roshi was still here. He would know what to do. Although, that might be encouraging his pupil to go in there and become a man. At the least, he would have some cash on him and then he could pay her and nicely ask her to leave.

His knees were shaking as he stood up.

He looked at his shoes again. A little worn down at the bottom and the shoelaces were fraying. They were somehow dear to him, a remnant of his life before a stripper had come through the front door and thrown off her raincoat onto him.

Krillin looked at his ankles, seeing the white socks and remembered pulling them on in a dark bedroom that now currently held a beautiful woman. He wished he was wearing something better than a pair of baggy blue pants and a similarly overlarge orange t-shirt. Not that it mattered. She was solely here for the money and probably didn't even care that he lacked a nose.

In his bedroom, she looked so out of place. She sat on his bed, smoking a cigarette and raised a thin yellow eyebrow. Her white nurses' outfit glowed in the lit lamp resting on his bedside table. Like a small tamed animal, her black bag stood patiently by her feet. Her heels were short and there was another surprise. It seemed like sacrilege to have a nurse smoking.

But then, he could understand how important uniforms and costume were, and even more so when they were convenient to run in.

Thankfully, his bed was made.

Nor was there anything embarrassing hanging around. Everything was tucked away in his closet and so far as she knew, he was just an average guy.

She looked amused, and it took all his will to continue moving closer. A part of him, a large part, told him to run. To just run out the front door and leave Goku behind. He could go to Yamcha's house and tell him about what had just happened. Sure, the taller man might laugh, but he could take that. Krillin imagined himself safe and sound in his friend's fancy apartment, maybe having a cup of coffee and laughing the entire thing off. Especially when they joked about Goku being stuck in the home with her.

"So, you're Goku?"

Her eyelashes were curiously long and dark.

_There is no way I could touch her. And no way could I stand for her to touch me._

He wondered if he could just give her his TV and ask her to go.

_I am being held hostage in my own home._

Outside the room, they listened to Goku rummaging around in the fridge. "I'm just going to take the rest of this cheese. And the fish. And the oranges." They listened to him finished off the pizza. He opened a can of soda, and Krillin hoped dimly it wasn't one of his grape ones.

Her eyes were colder than ever. They looked like slices of the sky in the summer.

Krillin had no idea such a moment could be so complicated. She was paid to be here and didn't give a damn. He wasn't hideous and if he was terrible at this, it didn't matter. He would never see her again. She might not even be here for that sort of thing. Simple enough.

Yet, it was like a game of chess, just because nudity might be involved.

_You need to say something! It's been like five minutes of you just standing there!_

"So, where are you from?"

She looked wrong-footed. "What?"

"Are you from around here?"

Then she rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure." Her lipstick left a pink smudge on her cigarette. When she exhaled, she blew a perfect ring toward the ceiling. The smell would probably never come out of his curtains. Her legs were crossed and she looked oddly classy. Of course, she could have been on a street corner with that short dress, but her movements made her look like some sort of royalty in disguise.

"Are you going to ask me what my name is?"

Krillin swallowed. "Yes, but I guess you won't tell me."

She nodded. "Smart enough, shrimp."

Curiously, she tucked her cigarette into a clean white baggie. Then she leaned towards him. He flinched, which only made her more suspicious.

"Sorry. Uh. I. Why are you here, doing this?"

"What should I say? That I'm a student and this is paying for med school?"

"Ha, that would explain the nurses' outfit." He played with his hands. "Do you like doing this?"

She uncrossed and re-crossed her legs. He had what a real nurse might call a 'cardiac episode'. "What exactly, am I doing?"

Her lips reminded him of rose petals, and a thousand other clichés ran through his head. Her grip on his collar was like iron. He didn't try to even resist when she tossed him onto the bed. His eyes closed. Despite the fact that he'd met her a half-hour earlier, Krillin was helplessly unable to not trust her.

_Do I close my eyes? Oh my god, oh my god, I'm going to have sex with a beautiful woman oh my god. This is so awesome. Oh my god, I can't do this._

They opened long enough to see something silver flash down. He moved, instinctively. The needle missed his head by an inch and completely ruined his pillow.

"Um." This was definitely wrong. He knew that.

"Damnit." She leapt for her bag, her movements like a cat. Krillin could barely reach out and throw a lamp at her. He missed, and it shattered over her head into a hundred pieces, none of which touched her.

Luckily, he had resting above his head a number of statues and toys that his friends had mocked when first seeing. Even more as the group grew older and his collection grew in size and intricacy. Even more when they found out he'd painted and put them together himself.

But then, he had the last laugh even as he mourned over the hours he'd spent doing the details on them. If he'd gotten rid of them, he would never have the projectiles that would now save his life.

Krillin threw one straight at her, remembering painting it and getting the blood on its weapons just the right shade.

Her expression was almost amusing. It hit her arm and he nearly winced at the miniature sword that was pretty sharp. She looked insulted. Then she almost smirked. "Did you paint that thing yourself?"

He threw another one.

She knocked it aside with one arm, her face still without anger. It was too absurd to be angry. Krillin was able to even think this was pathetic.

Her hat was still on.

One hand was still buried in her bag. Hellish memories of unstoppable robots from late night movies passed through his head. "You're an unfortunate man, Goku," her voice thickened and became husky. It shouldn't have been nearly as lovely as it was.

He threw another action figure.

She ducked.

"You, _shrimp,_ shouldn't have fucked with the Red Ribbon Army."

Krillin response was the smartest thing he could have done. "_Goku_!"

There was a sleepy response from the living room, and she paused. "Huh? What is it Krillin?"

Again, he was reminded of those movies about mechanical terrors as she slowly understood. Gears turned in the bright head. Amazingly, she didn't continue pawing through her bag. "You're not Goku. You pretended to be him, because you thought I would—and I wasted all this time-"

Then her face became furious. The eyes darkened and a sickening thrill shot through his spine. If they had flashed red, he would not have been more horrified.

"Help!"

"_I told you, _it's not babyish to be afraid of needles!"

"She's trying to kill me!"

"Now, come on, they don't hurt that much."

"No! She's actually trying to murder me! She's not a real nurse!"

"A bad guy?"

"Yes!"

Goku broke down the door with one kick. Krillin could have hugged him. Instead, he settled for jumped to him and hiding behind his back. In his sweaty, shaking hands, he held another backup toy in case more ammo was needed. His friend's chest was heroically large, but it was the gun in his steady hands that reassured Krillin.

It was Goku! He was saved! Then he noticed that her dress had ridden up a little more in the fight and was a little unsure of who to root for again.

"Hands up!"

Juuhachigou looked a little sour. "You can't think I came alone?"

Someone else knocked on the front door.

She raised her voice. It was a very angelic voice, and when in was alarmed, even Krillin wanted to comfort her. "Juurokugou!"

"Juurokugou?"

Krillin was able to process: _16? _

Then the front door was broken down.

Later, when he got a good look at Juurokugou, he swore that the ground had really shook as he entered the doorway. When he took a few more steps in, nearly crossing half the living room in just a few steps, his shadow fell on Goku and Krillin.

He was huge. He wore a green argyle sweater and double-knit brown trousers. He had a Mohawk. It was orange.

The mysterious assassin looked smug. "_That's_ Juurokugou."

Juurokugou waved at her. "Juuhachigou."

Krillin looked at her. "Are those codenames?"

She looked a little abashed. "Not exactly."

"I'm sorry." Names that were handed to you by someone else were always terrible. It was exactly why he was so glad that he was able, at night anyway, to choose and answer to a title he'd chosen. 'Chestnut' was so much worse than-

Juuhachigou sighed. "Juurokugou?"

"Hmm?' His voice really did sound like a robot from the future that couldn't be stopped by gunfire.

"Kill the spiky-haired one," she said. Fangs glistened between her well-shaped lips. "Leave the bald one for me."

Goku scratched the back of his head, still replaying the conversation in his head while besides him his best friend grabbed another lamp and prepared for death. "Um, what exactly did I do to make you guys so angry?"

Juurokugou turned to him, his face like a block of badly carved wood. "We were sent from Dr. Gero."

"_Who_?"

Krillin rubbed the spot between his eyes. "Goku, remember, the Red Ribbon Army? You just blew up their base."

"Yeah, I know that. But who's Gero?"

Juuhachigou threw her hands up in disgust. "Just shoot both of them Juurokugou. The retard in the head, but only cap the bald one in the knees."

The giant nodded. Goku raised his gun and Krillin threw his action figure, one with sharp horns on his head, straight at the red-haired man. It bounced off, broke, and its head rolled down the living room to rest by the door. They watched its journey. Juuhachigou looked at Krillin closely for a few moments.

"Which one of you is stupider?"

Another person stepped through the doorway, and Krillin nearly had a heart attack. He looked at Juuhachigou closely, then back at the new guy. It wasn't just the exact straight hair, or the high, square forehead, pointed nose, or firm jaw that they had in common. They had the same blue eyes.

He and Krillin looked straight at each other.

The unknown familiar looking man raised a perfect eyebrow.

Then he stepped carefully onto the toy's plastic head, and Krillin knew for certain that this man was not there to help them.

"And that's Juunanagou."

His smile was much nice, sweeter than Juuhachigou, and so much more terrible. This was the smile of a boy who put firecrackers in small animals, who delighted in setting various mailboxes on fire, and who was destined to be killed in a televised police shoot-out. That, or a high powered attorney that specialized in getting the worst criminal scum back onto the streets.

He was the neighborhood terror who would grab your hapless hand and slam it into your bare forehead that wasn't really your fault because the other monks made you shave your head, and then mock you as he bruised your skull, "Why are you hitting yourself?" He was the type to pants you and then throw your trouser in a patch of poison ivy. Then he'd give you a wedgy. Atomic.

"My brother."

His throat was dry. "Uh. Triplets?"

The blonde 'nurse' was not amused. She didn't seem like the woman to find a lot of humor in life's adventures and misadventures.

Juurokugou finally spoke up. "I'm adopted." Then they all remembered that they were trying to kill each other. It was that grim voice.

Krillin felt sweat sliding down his forehead. "This is almost as bad as the time we had to fight Tien."

"And when I got into that fight with Yamcha."

"And that time with Piccolo."

"And Vegeta."

"Remember when I hated you?"

"You hated me?"

"Everyone hates you," Juuhachigou finally snapped.

Juunanagou's voice was as lifeless as Krillin had expected. "How many people have tried to kill you?"

"I think it's easier to find out who hasn't."

Goku suddenly sounded sad. "Even Bulma hit me with her car." With his free hand, he grabbed a handful of Krillin's shirt. "Why did you never tell me this?"

"I didn't think I needed to point out how at some point everyone's hurt you. Watch the gun, man."

"Chi-Chi sometimes threatens me with a pan," for once the much large man sounded thoughtful. "I didn't think she'd actually hurt me. But now I wonder. After we get married, will she try to murder me?"

Krillin did his best to comfort the big guy. "Aw, Goku, Chi-Chi," he paused. "Chi-Chi's...very pretty. She's a good cook." There. He didn't even lie.

Somehow, she looked even better when she was pissed off. The passion made her eyes glow, and he dearly wished this moment was not happening. If only they'd met in another way...then he could pine over her safely. In a universe where she hadn't attempted to stab him, Krillin could safely nurse a crush and do his best to keep his fantasies on the down low.

On the other hand, this put all her flaws right out there. It would be harder to put her on a pedestal after seeing those slim hands nearly shove a needle into his eye. Honestly, this might have actually helped his love life. Well. He had a soft spot for her, so maybe not. But at least now they were on the same level, in a way. "It doesn't matter. You're never going to see her again."

"Wait, wait." Juunanagou raised his hands. "You're getting married? I thought..." His eyes flicked to and from the two almost-hostages. Juuhachigou laughed.

The bald man managed to grit something out. He was getting angry, and it was almost nice to have such a solid emotion. "We are not _partners_."

"What? We aren't? Krillin, I thought we-"

"Shut up, Goku! We are just roommates. And he's moving out to get married. To a woman."

There was a yell from the hallway of the apartment. "My god, what happened? I thought this party was supposed to be tame?"

It was followed by a disapproving voice. "They must have gotten drunk."

Goku shivered.

_I should have said he was getting married to a SWAT team. Then we'd be saved._

"Drunk enough to knock down the door? Alright, yeah, probably. Those idiots."

The voices grew nearer. "I'm not paying for this to be fixed. Lucky Vegeta wasn't here."

The twins tensed. Juurokugou was busy putting the toy back together, with one hand still focused on them. Not that it mattered exactly, since Juunanagou had a handgun resting on his hip.

"Krillin? Goku? Are you two still conscious?"

"Bulma! Chi-Chi! Run!"

Of course they didn't. If anything, their footsteps quickened.

"What? What's going on?"

"Come on, I've seen you two drunk before. It's embarrassing, but not life threatening."

"They're armed! People in here are trying to kill us!"

"What else is new?" There was an odd click.

Something, not unlike the broken head of the toy soldier in Juurokugou's ham-sized hands, rolled into the room. They had exactly long enough to see it and wonder what the hell it was before it exploded. Billowy clouds blinded them all. Besides him, Goku ran into a wall and Krillin dropped to his stomach. Any second, someone would pull a trigger and maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't hit him.

Now the apartment resembled the times where Master Roshi had his poker friends over and they would all be armed with cigars. The smell of smoke would definitely be stuck in the curtains now.

Somewhere ahead, Juuhachigou was coughing and it took all his will not to reach for her. He just wanted to pat her back and get her to stop, but knew that if he did, he would definitely get a bullet to the head.

"Woman! What are you doing?" Vegeta's irritated scream could be heard even from the hallway and the dark clouds. And yet, Krillin felt relief. Sure, he wasn't really their friends, but he wouldn't let them die. Without Goku, who could the spiky-haired man set his weird obsession with being the best-

The coughing increased, and goddamnit, it wasn't fair. _Why can't you not be here to kill us? Is that so much so ask, Kami, that a girl show up and be nice without an ulterior motive? _

_Can't I just meet someone who isn't a psycho?_

Krillin crawled forward, cursing and hating himself.

The smoke from here wasn't so bad, and oh Kami, you bastard, the woman (Juuhachigou, not a bad name really, it fit her in a weird way) was crouched and that damn skirt was riding up and he was the best and worst angle. Then her eyes, narrowed from the smoke but still able to see, noticed him there. The assassin followed his gaze. She looked almost amazed.

Her voice cracked. "Really? You can't be serious."

"I just wanted to see that you were okay!" He waved his hands before him, and thankfully she was not armed. But her lips were pulled back and she really did have sharp incisors. He wondered if it was possible to rip a man's throat out using your teeth. Juuhachigou certainly looked ready to give it a go.

The smoke was disappearing. There was a click and he realized someone was cocking a gun. Someone was yelling angrily, Vegeta, and he was going to kill all of them for this stupidity, and there was a thump downstairs as the neighbors hit their brooms against the ceiling in complaint.

Juuhachigou looked so angry and so vulnerable. She was nearly huddled and still, still her hair had a soft golden glow to it. Her mouth was an angry pink line and he could tell things were definitely not going to according to plan.

Had she done this a lot, Krillin wondered. She was so young. There had to be a better path for her. Why _couldn't_ she really be a premed student, just a nice young woman who was an asset to society rather than another criminal he would have to lock away?

What if someone shot her?

He did his best to be gentle, but she jammed a fist into his chest and knocked the breath right out of him as he grabbed her shoulders.

A gun went off nearby.

Krillin threw himself on top of her. They fell together, Juuhachigou onto her back, Krillin onto his stomach, which was also on _her_ stomach as well. She was horribly warm, horribly small and firm and lovely, and when she moved against him he wanted to run into towards the gunshots.

They rolled onto their side. He kept a good grip on her, half out of his mind from the contact, the rest scared that she might be hurt, and maybe a sneaky low part understood that she could work as a hostage. Her leg rubbed against his as she brought it up, and they grabbled. Her trying to get him off her, him trying to keep her from kneeing him in the groin.

Someone nearby kicked his stomach, somehow, and then Juuhachigou was reaching for his neck while he was distracted. He twisted, and then she was on top of him again. The blue feline eyes were bright and frightening in her intense face. If she'd had a gun, he could image her really murdering him.

In a split second Krillin did something he would always regret and drove his elbow into her throat. He wanted to take it back immediately, and couldn't resist say 'sorry' into her ear as her hair tickled him. She coughed again, right onto his head, and he grabbed her by the waist, trying to shove her off. Juuhachigou grabbed his shoulders in her surprisingly strong hands and lifted him by a good foot.

She was going to smash his head in against the floorboards, he knew.

Then smoke was clearing, leaving ghosts and the smell of gunpowder behind.

"Alright. That's enough." Bulma loomed overhead, a blue-haired savior goddess. An ugly grey gun was in her hand, resting nearly on the back of Juuhachigou's head. Her hair was mussed, and Krillin could image this was how she looked when she awoke in the morning.

"I have another of those bombs right here, so don't even think about it."

There was a gleam in his friend's eye. He could image the jokes she was thinking of. Only pity kept them from being spoken. Krillin almost wished the murderous twins (triplets?) had won. Bulma would never let him live this down. "And get off him."

For a second, the blonde's grip tightened. Then they released. He dropped with a thud, equipped with new bruises and a fear of strippers. And blonde women in general. Really, maybe just _women_ in general.

Bulma heaved a sigh as Juuhachigou slid off him and nearly making him whimper. "I wonder how many times I've saved you guys."

He coughed. Juuhachigou's eyes more than ever reminded him of an exotic cat. They were slightly narrowed and patient. If they gave her the slightest chance, she would get her hands on something to murder them. No. _Him_. "Superheroes always need a good sidekick to sometimes save the day."

"Bastard. You're so lucky you have this beautiful genius to help you."

"Right, right. I'll buy you a drink afterward."

"You better. Now," she cleared her throat and looked at the blonde like a disobedient child. "Are you done?"

There was a scathing reply on her face. But somehow, she swallowed it down and settled for looking furious.

"How did you get in here, anyway? Who was stupid enough to let someone who's obviously an assassin into the apartment?"

Juuhachigou looked right at him. Bulma moved her head slowly and made sure to make eye contact with Krillin. He turned away. Juurokugou was sitting on the couch, still messing with the toy and Juunanagou was as rumpled as his sister. Chi-Chi was cleaning up already, although Krillin doubted the security deposit could ever be saved at this point. Goku was staring annoyed at Vegeta.

He was smarter in some ways now. "You knew exactly where I was when you pointed shot that gun, didn't you."

"Of course not." But Vegeta's grin was sly.

"How was I supposed to know? She just came in and acted..." A little off, but really, how could he have known she was an assassin? "She said she was..."

Bulma raised an eyebrow. Took in Juuhachigou's appearance. Then she rolled her eyes. "Wait. You really thought she just came in here to give you a lap dance?"

Juuhachigou made a choking noise. Juunanagou's face promised a slow death. He immediately looked away again.

Krillin could have cheerfully murdered himself.

He crossed his arms and tried to regain a tiny bit of his shredded and torn dignity. "It doesn't matter."

"I guess not." But Bulma had something on her face that promised that they would discuss this later.

"What exactly are we going to do with these three?"

Krillin shrugged. "We usually just let them go." He pointed with a thumb at Vegeta, trying to keep the bitterness from his voice. _He'd_ wanted to call the cops when the dark-haired man had broken into the apartment with his idiotic sidekick, trying to rob them, then demanding to fight Goku and claim the title of the official superhero of the city. But Goku had just laughed it off, and thrown the two down the fire escape and into the dumpster. Thus guaranteeing that Vegeta would be his nemesis.

It seemed, sometime, that Krillin was the only one who actually paid attention to the comics and movies they watch for inspiration.

But now, he decided not to learn his lesson. Or rather, to learn Goku's. Because that sounded less bad. He was a hero, and a hero forgave his enemies. A hero. Not a lonely guy who had an immediate crush on a pretty girl.

This was also something that happened in comics, where the evil woman who kept trying to kill the hero turned a new leaf and became a love interest. Those issues normally sucked to him, but now he could get the appeal of them. As soon as they were done here, maybe he'd go reread some of them?

Goku managed to keep his mind on more noble ideas. "How did you discover our identities? And our hideout?"

Juunanagou snorted. "You two sort of stick out."

"Gero kept a tail on you. It's hard not to notice two weirdoes in rubber suits. Especially when one goes around with an actual tail."

Krillin looked accusingly at Goku. "I told you, that was a stupid idea. And they're not rubber, thank you. Rubber is too soft."

"Latex?"

"Nah, we passed out wearing that stuff. Now it's a reinforced polyester and cotton blend. With bulletproof armor over it."

Bulma stepped in. "It's a damn fine tail, I had to design it myself. Vegeta's one is fine."

"He doesn't have an identity to keep up. He's always the Prince."

"Well, still. Really, you need to wear that plastic nose and put on a wig."

The three assassins looked amused. Even the big one. "Really, _you_ guys are the defenders of the city?"

"That's just sad."

"Did you hand paint this?"

"Yeah, well you guys got your asses kicked by us, so what does that make you?"

Juuhachigou expression made it clear that she would not be a love interest to this part particular hero. Even in his own fantasies, Krillin thought glumly, she would probably still step out of the panels to kick his ass.

"So," she tossed back her head, pushing strands out of her face in irritation. "What do you want from us? Are you going to let us go, or call the cops?"

"Why are you willing to help Gero?"

Juuhachigou and her brother shared a look.

"We can't say."

But her brother sighed. "Maybe we should just tell them."

Her voice was icy. "No."

"Listen, these guys have a gun to our heads or at least a finger on the phone dial to the cops. Gero doesn't. Maybe they can become competent enough to kill the guy?"

She thought things over. Her slim brows were drawn down and Krillin had a short, tiny daydream that he would never share with anyone on threat of death of simply leaning forward and kissing her forehead. _oh please oh please, turn out to be nice. _

Although, of course she wasn't. Not really. She was obviously being blackmailed to be here, and he doubted it was out of fear someone was going to hurt a hair on her grandmother's head. The way she was prepared to pretend to be a stripper, to kill both of them, possibly with her bare hands...Juuhachigou was no saint. No matter how angelic she appeared.

And still, still he would have cut off an arm for her to genuinely smile at him.

_I don't even like bad girls. This is so unfair._

Her eyes were distant. "I wouldn't mind siccing you on Gero. Although," she looked right at Krillin, seemingly right into his soul and past it because it wasn't all that interesting. "I have my doubts over how effective that would be."

He smiled back, hoping he looked encouraging, but was aware he probably looked a fool. Quickly, as though trying to show competence, he grabbed the canister of smoke from Bulma, making her screech. "It's okay. We can protect you."

Juurokugou spoke up. "This is Bulma, from Capsule Corp. She might be able to help us."

Juuhachigou was debating with herself. "I'm not sure she could."

Bulma's pride could remain silent no longer. "Hey, I'm sure I could. No matter what Gero did, I can take care of it. I _am_ the president of Capsule Corp."

Krillin leaned forward. "Hey, we're superheroes. That's what we're here for. To help you."

"Yeah, we'll do our best."

Vegeta snorted.

Juurokugou finally let it go. "We have bombs planted inside us, that's why we're following Dr. Gero's commands."

Vegeta looked amused, as everyone else was too busy looking horrified. "A bomb? How did you get a bomb put into you?"

Juunanagou and Juuhachigou were exchanging looks. Then, like quicksilver, her hand was snatching away the smoke bomb in Krillin's hands, pulling its trigger, and throwing it straight at Vegeta.

In the resulting chaos, he felt Juuhachigou walking past him, pausing to lean in long enough to plant the lightest kiss on his cheek and whisper, maliciously, "See you shrimp." He heard the three run out the front door, one of them smashed into a wall before managing to make their way out.

As Vegeta and Bulma screamed at each other, and Goku got into an argument with Chi-Chi over the bachelor party and why had there been a 'stripper' there, Krillin thought, _okay, maybe, maybe she's alright..._

Then_, crap, I'm going to have to pay for all this damage, aren't I? _


	2. Issue Number 122

She was quite literally the last person he thought he'd see there. His cheeks, the left one in particular, burned when she caught his eye. They looked at each other for a long moment, words unneeded. Liquor store lights were flashing periodically, sending blues and greens and oranges into the darkened alley. The dancing lights stole the color from her skin and clothes.

'No,' her eyes said in mute denial, shivering, pale and strained.

'Yes! Yes!' his own chanted, feeling heat replacing the blood in his veins, then his throat constriction and his tongue becoming tied.

Ahead, Goku chased doggedly after the thief who must have nearly wet himself seeing the KamahamahMan himself. Krillin knew he should follow his friend and really help put the fear of vigilante justice into him, but seeing Juuhachigou there was enough to short circuit his brain. But he could take care of himself, and didn't even look behind him to see if Krillin was following.

It had truly been a stroke of luck to be walking past the store and to hear the threats of a robbery. The two men had grinned at each other, both knowing if not saying that this was their last night together as bachelors, and that this was the _real_ last send-off party. Rushing in, and then sneaking behind the guy, confident after seeing the knife as opposed to a gun. Grabbing a bottle of wine while they chased the guy out the back door and nearly _ran_ into her.

She was even wearing a costume, and that was more than enough to make his heart skip a beat.

The fact that it was tight and highlighted her slim form was only was an extra benefit.

"I can make out the beer signs on your skull." Juuhachigou's breathe came short and quick. The thief from before was screaming, begging for them to call Goku off, please, oh god, please.

Somehow, any compliment he would have given her left his head. Later he would think of several, but for now Krillin could only stare. He went to her, seeing her flushed face now, the sweat running down her forehead and made the thin light hair stick to her skin, and doing a bit of detective work. After all, every superhero had to use deduction to find the right bad guy, and Krillin rather thought himself a talented sleuth.

"I told you, vinyl doesn't breathe well."

"Shut up." She gasped for breath some more. Krillin wrapped an arm around her shoulder, keeping her standing. Her back was damp concrete and steel.

Krillin rolled his eyes. "There's stylish, then there's stupid." Easily, he avoided her fists as he reached out and unzipped her jacket. Under his fingers, the slick yellow fabric was as smooth as he'd imagined and it thrilled him for some reason. Beneath her jacket, her top was made of the same material as the bottom of her outfit. A jumpsuit of leather. He imagined her trying to fight in that, and didn't know whether to wince or laugh.

Amateur crime fighters were so cute.

Once she'd regained the ability to inhale as well as exhale and thus hurt him, he moved his arm away. "So, what are you doing here?" Then a grin burst onto his face. "I knew you'd turn over a new leaf."

"More like, stealing from a thief."

"Well," He patted her shoulder. She immediately moved away. "At least you're not trying to kill anyone."

"Whatever." Juuhachigou tucked long strands of blonde behind her ears and was trying desperate to gain the upper hand. She was going to get it anyway, so Krillin just smiled and decided to not fight it. Besides, he was thrilled just to be having a conversation with her that did not involve any guns. Behind them, they heard Goku shoving the man into a fence, then a collection of garbage cans.

"Oh god, please _no!_ Stop! Heeeelllpp!"

Neither turned to look.

"Why do you have a bottle of wine?"

"Oh, I owed Bulma a drink and all."

She looked even better in black leather than in that short white dress. The yellow jacket nearly matched her hair and in the dirty light shining overhead, Krillin was aware that she looked more the part of a hero than him. Untouchable and dangerous.

"So, where's your brother?" It was safer not to ask which one. Secretly, he prayed it was the large, lifeless one that could have crushed his skull with one hand. He scared Krillin less than the other one.

"He thought that the guy might come out through the front door."

"Really? Didn't see him. Well, I hope he's running away right now. Or else the cops might pick him up. Speaking of which, it might be a good idea to not stick around here for much longer."

Juuhachigou nodded to him grimly. "See you, baldy." She turned on her heel, a short one not unlike the pair she had worn when they'd first met, and began walking away. The zipper of her outfit was still down.

"Wait! Can't we team up? Fight crime together? We're all on the same side."

She stopped, looked over her shoulder. "What side is that, exactly?"

"Uh, the good guy's side." Her mouth pursed, and he nearly sighed. "We both fight crime. That's something in common."

"How about this," she was the one to heave a sigh. "If we see each other again, I'll do my best not to hurt you."

Then she was running and the last he saw of her was a flash a yellow as Juuhachigou had slipped through a slit between buildings and was presumably speeding off into the sunset. With her brother. And no money, presumable. But ridiculous outfits.

It was a cool exit though, and that counted for a lot.

Krillin decided to focus on the possibility of having another ally, rather than how weak his knees had grown just at the sight of her. His left cheek definitely burned.

His mouth formed words as he turned around:

'_You look amazing in that outfit. Did you make it yourself?'_

'_Yellow suits you.'_

'_You look lovely in black.'_

When he caught up with Goku, the robber was tied up and nearly unconscious. Together, they would drag him to the police, who would look at them, torn between laughter and fear and disgust and thinking they were insane, and so brave. Currently, his partner was humming and pissing up the wall. His tail swung happily.

They still had five more hours to go. No, correction: they still had about ten years of this before they had to hang up their capes and try to get a nine-to-five job or do what Master Roshi did and take in students. Or be killed.

_Ten years._

He was thirty, lonely, and hadn't been out on a date for about a thirteen, almost fourteen months. Long months. In this dark and increasingly filthy alley, Krillin mentally took his gloves off.

_I need a girlfriend._

* * *

It was Thursday so they had group tonight.

Their Master, Master Roshi, the man who had trained them in the art of combat and costume design, was very keen on them being here. 'To fight the post-traumatic stress that so many of us suffer from. Therapy, boys, is a tool that you should always have on your utility belt.' Then he told them to retrieve him another dirty magazine because he was almost done with this one.

When they complained about the group therapy, Master Roshi would sigh deeply, and talk about the heroes he'd training and how many of their downfalls had come from deeply seated father issues.

"I don't think we have those, Master."

"Really? Where's your father then?"

"Uh. I never knew him."

"And you Goku?"

"I have no idea. I was raised by my grandpa."

"How did that happen?"

"Oh, he found me in an alley and took me in when I was a baby. Taught me everything he knew, mostly about finding free stuff to eat though. I didn't even have to do any homework. You know. Those were good times."

Krillin was shocked, even though he knew he should know better. "You didn't go to a real school?"

"I went to the school of hard knocks, Krillin. And now I know where the best day old donuts can be found."

Master Roshi looked at the tall man through his dark shades for a long time. "Yes. I definitely think you two should be here every week." But the way he said two, it was obvious he was mostly speaking to Goku.

"And maybe we should look into night school. For the two of you."

So of course every week, despite how valuable this time was, they came here. To sit in a basement of Master Roshi's house, in cold hard metal chairs, and talk about what they'd seen this week. It had started out uncomfortable, until they began trying to outdo each other. Someone would save a child from a fire, and _then_ someone else had to save a school bus of kids. Outdoing Goku was the only reason Vegeta ever did anything that was halfway decent. That, and when he and Bulma would leave her gigantic house and she would nag him to save that drowning woman, 'for god's sake, what's wrong with you, you psycho?'

Master Roshi also made them do homework.

"I don't see why we have to write this stuff."

"It's self-realization. And hopefully, you did the assignment. If not, you will right now. Last time when you all wrote about what you wanted you superpower to have."

"So?"

"I asked you to write about your childhood."

"Yeah, and I did. My childhood was about wanting to have superpowers."

"Yeah."

"Me too."

"Alright fine." He shoved his sunglasses up his nose and rubbed under his eyes. Krillin felt guilty, remembering his paper about being able to fly.

"Okay, so, someone want to read their paper aloud?"

"I will." The chair screeched at him as he stood.

"Okay, so 'Things I Learned from Being a Superhero and What Exactly Makes a Hero?'" Krillin paused. "Well, I learned a lot of things. About the dangers of vinyl. How important friends are. How you must never turn your back on anyone, and never wear a cape that exceeds three feet."

They all winced. Yamcha rubbed his nearly scarred face, painfully. "I got cocky. That was the problem."

Tien patted the once-robber on the back. "Man, no one could have predicted that the clown was armed with a switchblade." Everyone nodded.

"Thanks. But really, go on Krillin."

The short man cleared his throat. "But, I think what I really learned is how, despite our strength and will and drive, that we are all so helpless.

"We will never stop crime. I will never be fully able to stop the Ginya Squad from blowing up another Namek park, or stop Frieza from robbing another bank.

"I am worthless. I literally provide no worth to anyone. With every person I save, another one will be in danger soon enough, and I have watched more innocent people die than I can remember. I can't remember, because I have to block out their faces or I won't be be able to sleep at night."

"I will never have a relationship that isn't full of lies. No woman I ever date will be able to learn what I do for a living. I will never be fully able to trust another person. If I get close to someone, they may be taken hostage.

"Everything I do turns eventually to crap. I can fight the lower bad guys, but the supervillians will always defeat me. And there's always another bad guy to fight, another disaster to avoid. And this is what I'll do for the rest of my life. Until I am eventually shot by a bank robber.

"And still, I get up every night and put on my costume, and hope that today isn't the day that someone doesn't miss."

"Because this is all I have and I cannot let this life go. Without this, I will be no different than the people who everyday have their lives put into danger and are helpless.

"Because I have to help people.

"Because I am a hero."

There was a horrible cascading silence that echoed through the room.

"That was," Tien paused, but didn't go on.

"Dear God."

Chiaotzu began crying.

Piccolo looked deeply into his cup of water, while everyone else stared into their Styrofoam cups of terrible lukewarm coffee.

"Goku, maybe you should go next."

He stood up "I wrote about a dinosaur I had growing up."

Master Roshi gave up and began going through a nearby box of porn.

"What happened to it?"

He shrugged "Ate it."

"You _ate_ it?"

"At the school I went to, you ate what you could. Even if they were your friend."

Everyone pushed their chairs a little away from him. "Well, now we know _you_ will start the cannibalizing if we ever are stuck in a Donner Party situation."

There was a creak from the stairs as another person descended down into the lair.

"Hey, Vegeta."

"It's, 'Prince Vegeta', you stupid fuck."

"I thought I said no masks. Or costumes."

"I'll wear what I want." He kept coming closer making his cape blow gently and importantly. Krillin wondered if he'd come through the doorway, or if he hadn't yet learned his lesson and slammed his shoulder pads on the walls. If Vegeta left imprints of them on the soft wood, it was still the shorter heroes responsibility to fix it up. On the bright side, seeing him so often allowed Krillin to erase the memories of him trying to kill the heroes, and of seeing him crawl from a dumpster, cursing his idiotic partner, an ice cream wrapper hanging from his hair.

"Fine. So, do you want to talk about your father, Vegeta?" Which shut the short man right up.

Goku was nearly pouting. "That isn't fair."

"How come he gets to wear his costume?" And immediately, everyone was digging through their bags or taking off their outer clothes. Within a good ten seconds, they were no longer just schmucks in street clothes, but the defenders of the city. They gleamed in the dim light. No one could stand a chance against them all together.

For the most part.

Someone else came down. Oolong waved at Master Roshi, sounding aggravated. "Hey, what's all this! I thought you weren't doing another snuff film until Friday?"

"I'm not."

The pig took a close look at them all, and then fled upstairs.

"Maybe that's enough for tonight."

Everyone began stacking their chairs in a neat grey-shined line. It was stupid to all leave the place while wearing their secret identities. Still, they were anxious to leave and go out into the sunshine. A little fresh air would help them forget Krillin's words.

Yamcha stayed behind and watched Krillin gathered the used cup and stacking the magazines. "So, how've you been?"

"Alright. Streets've been slow lately."

"Yeah," his eyes darted to Krillin and then to the posters on the walls. They were not particularly motivating, either sexual or newspaper clippings of heroes saving the day, or of their grisly deaths. The short man looked at a bloody footprint besides a body on the wall rather than at his friend.

"Are you okay? I heard about the uh, after party"

"Yeah, fine. No one got hurt. Except for Vegeta. But his eyesight came back soon enough."

"Sure, and that's super. But uh, how are _you_ doing?"

"Okay. I lost a few action figures, but that's alright."

Yamcha's gaze focused on him finally. "Yeah. Sorry about that. But..."

"Hmm?"

"What's with the hair?"

Nervously, Krillin ran a hand over his no-longer smooth head. It was coming in pretty well, and it so far had never failed to not shock him to feel the tiny spiky hairs against his fingers. When he saw himself in the mirror, he would stare open mouthed at his appearance. It wasn't bad, just very weird. He had no idea what to even do with it exactly, or what he would do when it grew long enough to style.

But it wasn't bad. Not at all.

_I have hair. I wonder if Juuhachigou will still call me baldy now? _

_I wonder if she'll...make fun of me less with this haircut? _

It was the best he could hope for.

"Oh, I just wanted to try something new."

"Well, you look better with it." Yamcha appeared relieved that Krillin hadn't spoken in tongues or something.

"Yeah, thanks. Would it be possible to borrow your truck, by the way?"

"Hm, sure, why?" They started wandering over to the stairs.

"The apartment got trashed. The smoke smell just won't leave. It's like we set off a pack of fireworks. I'm going back to Master Roshi's."

"That sucks."

"It's not too bad."

Yamcha nudged his side, with a grin. "Got to put a cramp on the time with the ladies though. You can't exactly bring women around this place." Somehow, he'd gotten a right and wrong impression from his friend growing his hair out. His smile implied so much that the shorter man tried not to blush.

_I haven't even done anything,_ he reminded himself.

And something whispered, _Soon you'll have to._

"Is there someone you have your eye on? I hope she's cool with the superhero thing. And Master Roshi."

Krillin rubbed the back of his head. _But..._but, he wanted to explain, the woman he had his sights set on didn't seem the type to be intimidated by a crappy house and a couple of perverts. If needed, Juuhachigou would just beat them up or set the place on fire if she hated the paint job. And even as she emptied the can of gasoline, the young woman would look amazing. Her skin would glow from the light illuminated from the flames.

_But..._she was just a fantasy, one that he was sure would never happen. At best, realistically, he could hope to see her again a few times more, then she would either hang up her cape or be arrested. Or, well, hurt him and his friends. Or the bomb planted inside would...but obviously it hadn't gone off yet so they were safe to some extent.

Still, though he hoped she was alright.

And maybe next time he could actually say something to her?


	3. Issue Number 123

_I have dreams of flight, but I'm not floating_

_And the ground is approaching awful quick_

_So I wake up screaming for you to catch me_

_That's what I start off every day with_

Messages Sent, Sage Francis

* * *

Fourteen times he'd gotten smashed in the face with a butt of a gun, and now it was fifteen. People laughed at him for not having a nose, but in this job it really was a lifesaver. At worst, he'd tear up and have a huge bruise, but he was not rolling around on the ground sobbing and swallowing blood.

Even so, he still fell down from the force of the blow. What made it more humiliating was the man who had done it was on the wrong side of sixty. For someone so old though, he had real strength behind the blow, and as he fled into the night, his absurd clownish clothes bright in the darkness of the low factory lights, the man proved he could run like the wind.

Krillin groaned and rested his head on the wall. Cool metal helped the ache, and he wondered if he could make it to Master Roshi's. It was the closest place and the freezer was stuffed with ice packs. He looked up into the overhead lights, trying to ignore the broken door nearby.

Maybe he could say that he'd fallen onto his face? Just never mention he'd gotten his ass kicked by a guy who could have been his grandfather? Already, he was mocked for things he couldn't control, like his face and height and tendency to weep and make jokes when their lives were at stake. It really wasn't Krillin's fault that he made a joke about hopping out of the pan when Frieza set his latest bank on fire with them trapped in a fault.

He'd just been walking past on his way to Master Roshi's, walking and trying to convince himself it was good exercise, and not being able to afford a car. It was good for the environment! Girls dug that sort of thing, right?

…Only then his keen eyes noticed someone dressed in bright outlandish clothing holding wire cutters and walking through one of the huge empty fields that surrounded the area.

What could the guy have taken, after all? He had run away and Krillin still couldn't hear the sound of a car starting up. Obviously, he couldn't have taken anything valuable, or much of anything at all. What the hell had he been doing here, then?

A bright lit hit his face, blinding him.

There was a roar. It wasn't a lion; this was far too badass. Krillin stared out into the field, seeing a single light rushing towards him.

The beast rolled to him, tearing apart the land beneath it.

It was pink.

There was a single light, he realized belatedly, because the other tail light was broken. The owner had done something to the engine, because it was purring instead of heavy and spewing out smoke as it should have been. No way would the DMV or any legal smog shop have given the go ahead to this monstrosity.

It was very pink.

Juuhachigou hopped out. It was remarkable that even the sound of her shoes hitting the packed dirt was enough to make him sigh in longing for an unnamed something and for his stomach to twist in anxiety and hope. Her face, partially hidden behind a small mask, was drawn back in a snarl, and Krillin felt his legs pulling in closer to his chest. "Where is he?"

"Who?"

"Dr. Gero?"

"That old guy?"

"Yes!"

Krillin pointed out into the field. "He went that way."

"Damnit," Her fists slammed into the van's hood. Her small, delicate hands left small, delicate dents in the metal. She seethed for a few seconds, then turned to him. It the darkness, her eyes were blue shadows.

"Come with me."

It was not a question, and if it had been, she grabbed him by his shirt and threw him into the passenger's seat so fast that he wouldn't have been able to answer anyway. He bounced off the floor. In the back, it was sparkling clean. If there had been carpet, it would have been freshly shampooed. But it did not. Because it was a refrigerator van. One that might be used to transport fresh meat over state lines.

He was a hero, and therefore not afraid. "J-Juuhachigou?"

"Hm?" She was driving through the parking lot, gaining speed.

"Where did you get this van?"

The woman was picking up speed, not caring that she was about to drive into a chain link fence. Krillin braced himself.

"Stole it."

They barreled through it with hardly a bump.

"It's nice," Krillin squeaked out. Then he was bounced around while Juuhachigou went through what felt like every hole in the field and possibly a few land mines. Still, even as his jaw was repeatedly shattered against the floor, he tried doggedly to start a conversation.

"Where's your brother? Brothers?"

"Recon work."

"What does that mean?"

She ignored him.

"Are they alright?"

"They didn't blow up or anything right?"

Now she really was driving into things to punish him. It was impossible to fully make out her face through the blood and tears and slamming into the back of the seats and into the hard roof, but Krillin still thought she was smiling.

* * *

But for all her speeding, for hours as the sky darkened, there was not a single pair of two-toned loafers to be found.

"Damnit!" There was a thump that made him flinch.

The van rolled to a stop, resting on a nothing, empty street with small ranch houses on both sides. Once, when he'd been young, he would have loved to live in a place like this. Parents in the room down the hall, a dog resting at his feet, his own room, or one he'd share with a sibling. In this late hour, everyone was asleep and they went unnoticed. Suddenly, it occurred to Krillin that he'd never been with Juuhachigou in the sunshine.

He gave her a startled look, some half forgotten movie about vampires came back to him. He'd always thought there had been something inhuman about her beauty.

Then there was the sound of a lighter being flicked open, a crumble of paper and a cellophane wrapper, a short exhale. "So, what were you doing out there?"

She didn't turn on any light, so he could only make out her shape and glow of her cigarette. A cloud of smoke rising to the ceiling. A line of blonde hair, a white hand.

"Oh, I saw someone breaking in and thought I'd investigate."

"I meant, what were you doing in the middle of nowhere?

He wanted to lie and make up something heroic and brave and intelligent. 'Oh, you think you're the only one that could track the mad doctor down?' Make it all seem like he had meant for them to meet again. But, as he searched for the right words, Juuhachigou came to the more truthful conclusion.

"You were just walking around and saw him." It wasn't even a question.

_At least, it doesn't involve me moving back in with Master Roshi._

"I guess it was fate that we met again?" It was a question, one punctuated with uneasy laughter, which Juuhachigou didn't need to answer.

"You stick your nose…you should mind your own business." Her voice remained neutral.

"Maybe, but you know, I try to help people."

"Sometimes, people might be better off if you didn't."

He stared at the scrubbed insides of the van, trying to figure out her meaning. Who was better? Her? Did she wish she hadn't seen him again?

Krillin's eyes dropped to his lap, trying not to touch his face. He wished he was clad in his orange and blue costume, emblazoned importantly in white to declare to any and everyone who he was. But instead he was only wearing a pair of worn jeans and a gray sweatshirt beginning to fray on the cuffs. Alone with the same sneakers that he'd worn when meeting her for the same time.

Maybe it was best not to ask how _she_ found Gero?

Maybe it was best to just leave right now, to just leave her with the image of his bruised and bloody face before things became undignified?

In the relative light, the short man could make out a denim skirt, black leggings (tights?) a black shirt over a stripped white shirt. She leaned close when she saw him staring. "Do you have anywhere else to be right now?" Such a dangerous question, one that could mean anything.

"That depends. Can I stop by my house and grab my costume?"

* * *

He had an absurd urge to belt "Defying Gravity" and send the dogs of the neighborhood howling. Then Juuhachigou would shove him over the edge of the building so she could listen to his screams right before he hit a dumpster. Just like Vegeta. Only he wouldn't shake his fist at Goku, informing him solemnly that he would rue this day, while his partner pleaded to be taken to a hospital. No, he would just scream.

Krillin couldn't help but look around him. It was exhilarating to be up this high. Sure, he liked climbing up stairs and throwing a grappling hook onto a convenient part of the roof like all good superheroes, but never this high. A million fireflies buzzed below, moving or stationary, but all bright. The view was breathtaking. When he opened his blinds that still smelled of gunpowder in the morning, he was greeted by a Burrito Piccolo, so he could appreciate such a lovely scene.

She was staring at him, face hard even as he smiled at her. As always she seemed to be seizing him up, and he never knew what she found or what she was looking for.

"I had no idea you were the type of hero that went for the rooftops."

"How else do you get around?"

"I don't know. Vegeta likes skulking in the shadows. Yamcha has this cool bike that he uses to chase criminals. It ranges, depending on the person."

"Fascinating." He'd never heard anyone sound so sarcastic to him while he wore this outfit. Only the aforementioned 'Prince' tended to show such disrespect. When he and his friends were dressed like this, it was no bullshit time.

'And you won't bring me-e-e-e dooooowwwwnn.'

She was looking at him, resting an arm on the safety bar before them. Her eyes were focused, steady, but not cruel or mean, despite her tone just a moment ago. Despite the amazing viewpoint, Juuhachigou had hardly spared it a second glance. All she did was look at him.

_I don't think she's going to push me so I plummet to my death. Which is good, but now I have no idea what she wants._

"It's nice up here," Krillin offered.

"Yes."

Normally, one of the perks of being a crime fighter was that you didn't get a lot of awkward conversations. Normally you snapped off a few witty lines and beat someone up, then made a pun. Then you fled into the night.

You didn't deal with disappointed woman who may have bomb planted inside of her. Perhaps _strapped_ to her, yes, but not actually implanted inside her. Especially in a somewhat romantic setting like this. Sure, there was a homeless man pawing through the junk bins beneath them, and he was a little cold, and his head hurt. But it was still romantic. Look at that view. Krillin clung to that.

"See you, KameMan." She turned away and started walking for the fire escape.

"Wait."

"Can't, have to make sure Juunanagou and Juurokugou didn't crawl into a fumigation tent again."

"I thought they were doing recon work?"

"Shut up."

"Hey, Goku's getting married in a couple of days."

"Good for him," was her expected retort, but the slim woman paused on the stairs, which he hadn't seen coming.

"I wanted you to come, as a guest." Krillin was sure his voice was kept casual. He'd practiced it enough before his mirror in preparation to perfect it. The only flaw he could detect was that maybe Chi-Chi wouldn't be so happy having someone who'd tried to kill Goku at her wedding. Well, recently tried to kill Goku, anyway. If she filtered out everyone who'd hurt Goku, there would be no one there, including herself.

She turned her head a few degrees. "I tried to kill you and your friends."

"You had a good excuse."

Juuhachigou looked appalled. "You can't really be asking me to go to the wedding of a man I'm supposed to kill. What exactly do you think is going to happen; do you want me to give a toast and then poison the cake?"

"No, definitely don't poison the cake." He shrugged. "I just thought it would be more interesting then hanging around dirty allies and chasing old men."

Juuhachigou's eyes were yellow in the light of the street corner.

"You don't have to wear anything fancy, if that's what you're thinking. It's not that formal of an event."

"What, is everyone going to show up in their costumes? What are you planning to wear?"

"I have a tux, I'll have you know."

A flicker of honest amusement crossed her face.

"I suppose…I could stop by. Briefly. If it gets you to stop looking at me like some hurt puppy."

Krillin had practiced looking in the mirror and trying to find the right words to ask if she wanted to go to the wedding. But he hadn't thought that she'd say yes, and so now he sputtered and blushed and grinned while Juuhachigou rolled her eyes and disappeared down the fire escape. The short hero watched her getting into her ridiculous car, waving at her back with a stupid smile, and only after she'd driven away was he aware that he had no idea where he was or how to get back home. Darkness that always easy to find in this city took over in the night, and made the lights that erupted at dusk puny and insignificant.

So he just looked over his city, his responsibility, and sighed. Eventually, he would have to get up and fill a quota that he set himself. Go around to the banks and bars and the zoos, in case someone tried something exotic.

But it could wait; everything could wait while he savored this moment. He hugged the safety rail before him that kept him from falling to his untimely and undramatic death.

"Kiss me _goodbyyyeee_, I'm defying _gravvitttyyyy_!"

The first barking dog set a fire that raged across the streets until the entire neighborhood howled along with him.

* * *

Oolong waved to him, taking him in before turning back to his show. The porch needed to be swept, Krillin noticed, even from his vintage point by the mailbox.

Master Roshi looked unsurprised to see him. What's more, the luggage didn't seem to faze him.

The two had been living together is this dilapidated house for several years now. The only thing that worked fully was the television and anything that could play a movie. Without a doubt, it was the happiest and closest thing Krillin had to a real home. The apartment had never felt the same, and he'd known since signing the lease that it was just a way to bide his time until he came back.

On either side of the house, there were just empty long abandoned fields that grew thick with weeds that could reach your waist. Master Roshi had often sent Krillin and Goku into there armed with a pair of scissors and told him that he wanted a pair of nice gardens to compliment the house. Of course, they weren't able to do such a thing, but if it didn't kill you or ruin your emotional psyche, you were fine so get up and help paint the house.

"Going to stay here for awhile, then?"

"Yes, Master." He looked meekly at his shoes while his Master rested comfortably on his old wooden chair.

But the old man didn't want to rub salt in his wounds. Maybe he missed have a place to bring his poker cronies when they couldn't come out here in the middle of nowhere, one where a Burrito Piccolo was right next door. "It was a nice bachelor pad."

"Yeah." He shifted his grip on his luggage. "Is my room still empty?"

"Reasonably so."

"Thanks."

Upstairs, a few boxes full of magazines and videos were added, but otherwise it was the same. Undusted, and the air was stale, but the white walls reminded him of the best part of his childhood and teen years, and the faded rugs were like a security blanket under his feet. He unpacked. There was a lump in his throat as he stacked his books in the shelves.

It was funny how coming back here was a stepbackwards, but one that felt so right.

When he went downstairs, they had his stupid embarrassing apron resting on the table. Both a way of saying, 'welcome home' and saying they wanted something better than dry cereal to eat.

And afterward, he would reread those issues about the villain turned love interests again.

He thought on them, while flipping pancakes, and remembering a yellow-black costume that clung so tightly to a form so perfect he couldn't blame the fabric.

"Krillin, you're burning the flapjacks!"

Unlike so many other heroes he worked alongside, and like so many stereotypical superheroes, Krillin had fallen into this life because he was sick of the little guy being hurt. With so many, they got into it because it gave them a chance to quasi-legally beat someone up. But he'd never cared much for violence and normally settled for a single good blow that would shut a person right down. His heart wasn't prepared for a long grapple, a struggle for a gun, and a longer showdown using knifes or whatever could be found on a rooftop.

Another reason why Goku, who lived for that stuff, was his partner. Opposites, to help compensate for each other's weakness. Krillin would look out for any mysterious statues that might shoot out poisoned darts (which, oddly, seemed to be more effective when shot through a bamboo shoot) or sleeping gas. Goku would throw himself at the person, slamming into them with a strength and velocity that the shorter man couldn't match.

And they'd done that for years, fighting and coming close to dying numerous times. They might not have been born with the same blood, but they all bled together on the streets, fighting. All of them, even Vegeta. Through honorable principles, or spite, they would all suit up and go to places others wouldn't dare approach, and try not to die. Every week, although not on a single day of it, also unlike other crime fighters on TV.

He'd saved a lot of people, no matter his means. Most of his friends he'd met through this field, or were affiliated somehow. It was in fact how Krillin had met his first girlfriend.

Like everyone, she just was in the wrong place at the wrong time. How she'd yelled, shrieking, as others, (mostly men) gathered around trying to help. Only, Krillin had been there first, wearing his normal, casual clothes and looking much less impressive than the other guys that circled around the fallen woman like a shark. "That man!" She pointed at no one in particular, and her well manicured hand shook. "He stole my purse!"

Most hurried into the dark alley that the thief had disappeared into, but only Krillin had been able to slide through the ripped fence to finally track the man down. Her grateful kiss on his cheeks was almost as nice as the disgruntled looks from the group of unlucky men. For the first time, he'd actually won something.

Somehow, he managed to stammer out, w-would she care to go to lunch with him?

They'd lasted about a year. One that was bittersweet, and one of the best and worst of his life. Hardly training and spending the nights instead of on the streets, with her. What were those things, in comparison to Maron's smile? Only, what if he couldn't continue to make her happy? There were plenty of other guys on every street that would be glad to drop everything and take her shopping.

He'd broken up with her, no matter what the others believed, knowing that he couldn't make her completely happy. He bore their relief and insults towards her with a grin and a laugh, and then spent the year following with hardly a smile or chuckle.

Now, he could only shake his head at that man, bereft not only of love and self-respect, but one that thought Maron could be the one to make him so happy. Krillin could only shake his head at the thought. He saw blue eyes that could shift to a clear lake, or ice depending on her mood. He heard her voice in her ears, saw her sitting at the breakfast table, looking at him._ Him_. Like he actually deserved of her gaze, or to even be in the same room as her.

_Juuhachigou leaned forward. "For god's sake, Krillin, don't let the eggs get all runny."_

_"And why am I back in this nurse's outfit, Krillin?"_

_"Oh, yeah, being in the nude is so much better. You're such an idiot. What, why would I just be sitting in a dining room, _your_ dining room, naked? Stop staring at me."_

Master Roshi threw a rolled up magazine at his head. "Boy, stop staring at the chair and feed us."

Now, much later than that year and after even breakfast, when faced with the prospect of a relationship, he found himself not unlike what he'd done with Maron, at the end. Only this time, he was not alone.

Krillin sat on a couch before his nearly-father and teacher, weeping. Dirty plates still sticky with syrup lay before them in an unsteady pile. They were discussing what happened so far, and the events leading up to it. Why did Krillin go for women who were so unavailable to him in some way? 'They're the only ones that will have me!' only made them digger further into his past.

"Okay, okay." Master Roshi threw a box of Kleenex at him. "Pull it together, son."

"I'm_ trying_ to."

"Anyway, what were you saying? Before you started talking about your mother?"

"Oh, my love life."

"Yes, this 'Juuhachigou' girl?" The turtle hermit seemed suspicious of her. He kept asking Krillin to repeat the part of the story where she came into his apartment with a couple of henchmen, armed with guns and needles. Roshi especially wanted to hear about what she'd been wearing. "You need to watch your back with girls who immediately try to stab you in the eye, Krillin."

He tried to imagine that he'd met Juuhachigou under different circumstances, nicer ones, and the best he could come up with was saving her from someone, and her never knowing his real identity. He would be 'KameMan,' not Krillin. They would have a brief fling in-between him fighting villains, and when she found out who he was, would leave him immediately.

"Get me a picture of her, would you?"

Krillin sighed. "Maybe at the wedding."


	4. Issue Number 124

Belated thanks for reviews: Sergeant Daniels, Individual Lies, randompandattack, and Lon Wolfwood. Thanks for the encouragement. Hope you continue to review, and enjoy the story.

On the radio  
And the bouncing bodies' drone  
Found eighteen reasons I can't pick up on the phone  
Said look at the clouds  
It's a show all on its own  
Such were the grounds for divorce i know  
But the dialing is dead  
We hit it on the head  
It looked like a wedding cake

It looked like a newlywed  
But I look at the lovers  
In the telephone stands  
And the way they move and the way move their hands  
And I look at their babies  
And their tiny little hands  
And the way they get loved and the way they get loved  
Oh look at the lovers  
In the telephone stands

And the way they move and the way move and the way move their hands  
Said you hate the sound  
Of the busses on the ground  
Said you hate the way they scrape their brakes all over town  
Said pretend it's whales  
And keeping their voices down  
Such were the grounds for divorce i know  
Looked like a newlywed

Grounds For Divorce, Wolf Parade

* * *

Behind him, Goku continued to pull at his collar. "Stop it," Krillin mumbled from the corner of his mouth.

"Just calm down."

"Of course _you're_ relaxed. You got a date." Yamcha sounded sour, and Krillin did his best to keep the smugness off his face. Usually, meaning every single other time, it was him who was left dateless and alone while his friends had a girl on their arm. Although, Juuhachigou certainly hadn't taken his hand or anything like that. She seemed to consider it just an event like any other, only one where she could put on an amazing skintight and backless yellow dress that flashed gold in the overhead lights.

But they were definitely just friends enjoying each others company. To allow his thoughts to stay elsewhere would only result in hurting both of them. She from being uncomfortable with a guy she thought was an innocent friend, and him when she punched him in the face.

"Date couldn't make it?"

"No," the scarred man was pouting. "Had other last second plans."

"Sorry man." Krillin patted his back.

"Who agreed to go out with Baldy," Vegeta said, shuffling over, unable to find anything more interesting to focus on. Bulma had talked him into wearing the tie, but otherwise he was dressed the same as always. Amazing that he'd managed to squeeze through the doors of the small church with those shoulder pads.

"Juuhachigou."

For a second, the Prince resembled a dying fish. "That girl, the one with the bomb in her?" He stared at Krillin, amazed, and the shorter man nearly smirked again. The fact that no one was rushing to grab her, shake her for information or just revenge, did she know how long he'd been blinded for…was the icing on the cake. Exempting of course, if Juuhachigou got sick of them all and climbed through a window like someone in a romantic comedy.

"I swear, if you yank at that collar one more time…"

"Let's all have a drink," Tien spoke up.

They all crowded around the bar in the common room. In the backroom, there is muffled yelling and screaming and crying. They hadn't seen any of the women they'd arrived with; within five minutes they were swept away to the back to help or be yelled at by Chi-Chi. Juuhachigou among them, staring at Krillin as though she'd made a terrible mistake. He watched her being shuffled over by Bulma to help with the makeup.

He wondered if the blue-haired woman remembered Juuhachigou. Or if she just saw another warm body to help inhale the abuse the blushing bride was bestowing upon her friends.

But still, there seemed to be connecting. The weeping was dramatic, and he felt rather gypped that his first wedding experience would be grimly having drinks with the guys. No one said a word except telling Goku once again to not yank at his clothing.

Vegeta finished the rest of his drink in one gulp. He sighed for a moment, looking into his glass with tired eyes. For a moment, Krillin allowed himself hope for something meaningful. "Alright, let's have the damn wedding."

* * *

They had met in high school, and had been engaged, (to Chi-Chi's rage) for nearly ten years. It wasn't that Goku didn't want to marry her; it was just that he couldn't. He didn't have a lick of paperwork or the knowledge or interest to fill out the necessary forms that made him a citizen. So they just lived together, seemingly happy even as she threw him out of the house.

Finally, she had enough. She promised not to push him to find a job immediately, so long as he filled out the paperwork that remained yellowing in the basket by the fridge. But he needed to get a social security number first. In order to get that, he needed birth records. For that to happen, he had to have his parents' records and petition the old hospital. To find that, he had to discover who his parents had been, and where he'd been born.

In their nicest suits, Krillin alongside his friend for support and so he wouldn't get lost downtown, the judge eyed Goku over his glasses. "Young man, are you even a citizen of this country?"

Chi-Chi wanted kids, really, and being the old-fashioned sort, she insisted that they be married beforehand. When he stopped to think about it, Krillin could understand some of her rage. Especially since Goku had yet to get a job throughout their entire relationship. "I'll get one, I swear!" He would tell her, right before he jumped into his costume and fled through a window.

For the longest time, Krillin and Bulma, Goku's oldest friends who'd been there to watch the small, always pink clad girl follow him around, blushing. They treated it as a joke, either laughing or egging one of them on, until finally in their senior year, they told Chi-Chi to just ask him to marry him. Krillin and Bulma gave her another glass of the spiked punch. "He won't say no." "No way."

With determination born from scotch and fruit punch, she proposed, screaming at a confused Goku in front of everyone at the prom to make her an honest woman and marry her. One of the teachers had to call her father and escort her out to his car. Goku hid under a table, then behind his friend's backs when Chi-Chi escaped the Ox King's grasp and ran back into the room.

After so many years in the making, here they were.

Krillin caught sight of Bulma, who was tearfully clutching Puar's arm and crying into a lace handkerchief. He'd have thought she'd be glaring at Vegeta, why isn't that us again? Or maybe smirking as finally the joke was completed. But just more tears fell from her eyes, as she cried out something about 'babies having babies.' The fact that she was sobbing in joy and not even complaining about the chicken made a lump form in his throat.

Goku really was about to get married. He was all grown up now. An adult. Eventually, he would kids of his own, that he would tell about his days spent adventuring about the city. He would lean back on his rocking chair, hair speckled gray but otherwise unchanged, 'those were the days. Too bad about the time Krillin was brutally murdered by his girlfriend's twin brother. Shame they never even found his head.'

The music that started to play made everyone sit or stand up a little taller.

Chi-Chi was still crying, even as she left the room. A long bloom of white trailing behind her, her face partially obscured by the veil. Her hair was half up, half down and artistically curled. Goku gave a sharp inhale, and for the first time perhaps ever, Krillin could see nervousness on his earnest face. He was about to nudge one of his groomsmen for a laugh over the big man being a schoolboy again, until he saw Juuhachigou. He nearly fell to his knees.

Krillin grinned at her from where he stood, and received a small secret smile in return. As beautiful as the bride was, more even, the short man couldn't take his eyes from the woman clad in a dress that nearly her hair.

"Son Goku, do you take…"

Would they still spend their nights fighting crime? Or would Goku be too tired from changing diapers to help him? Could he ask his partner to go out onto the dirty street, risking his life, with a wife and kids at home? If anything happened to Goku…well, if Chi-Chi didn't get to him first, Krillin wasn't sure he'd be able to live with himself.

Still, he was going to miss the big guy. That is, until a brief image of a new sidekick popped into his head and shoved aside Goku's black clad funeral. They could spend all night together, fighting crime, and making their own inside jokes. Eventually, there would be a moment of weakness, perhaps during a moment where death seemed a minute or flaming blade away. She would lower her guard, and allow him close. A hug, a kiss, or maybe a declaration of affection, if the situation was particularly private but deadly. Hell, while they prowled the streets, Juuhachigou could even bring along her brother(s).

When Master Roshi gave Goku away with a good-natured leer at the bride, Krillin felt both awe and pride, so proud of his best friend for getting married, and an urge to cheerfully wave goodbye him. Maybe his best friend was leaving his side to no longer look after his back when he fought against the cities enemies, but that didn't mean anything was ending.

"And do you, Chi-Chi King…"

At the reception, the blushing bride could forgive anything. Like she was a mob boss and her daughter was being married. She even hugged an uncomfortable Juuhachigou like she was a long lost friend. "I'm so glad you came!"

She and Bulma exchanged one look, and ran to each other, sobbing. They threw their arms around each other and cried, while the blonde leaned against him and asked, sweating, "Are they always like this?"

"No, normally there's less weeping and more fighting. It's just the whole wedding thing," Krillin explained, then did his best to tear his eyes from the sight of her and focus on the event.

The reception went smoothly. Vegeta didn't pick a fight with anyone, and the champagne was just as good as the caterer promised. As was the shrimp and other finger foods. Almost as good as what Chi-Chi might have made, but she was talked into hiring someone to cook for her. But, the blue-haired scientist insisted, what was the point of having a wedding if you were going to clean up afterwards and to cook for the bottomless black holes their friends were?

What they all did to the cake was just a disgrace. Goku missed the point of the ceremony of the newlyweds feeding each other, and instead scooping out handfuls for himself. He and Chi-Chi had their first fight over that, while Bulma burst into tears again and the Ox King made sure to get a close up of the blushing bride giving up and grabbing a piece of cake to stuff herself like her husband. Yamcha started the applause. Vegeta was the first to lunge for his own piece of the confection.

"That poor cake," the blonde whispered into his ear, her skirt nearly brushing his side.

Juuhachigou didn't leave him. Krillin liked to think she wanted to be close, but knew that she was just afraid of being stuck with a bunch of strangers that might want to start something with her. She, reluctantly, but after more liquor was passed around, loosened up enough to dance with him. Her laughter came easy as she complained about looking ridiculous with a man so much shorter, and why couldn't he lead?

"Aw, they're just admiring my new suit."

"Right."

"Maybe they just like your dress, then?"

"Flattery won't get you as far as you think."

"How far do I want to go?" Then he spun her, suddenly, surprising her. When he pulled her back in close, Krillin whispered, "And how far _will _flattery get me?"

They were both surprised at his bravado. She rolled her eyes, but he could make out the color on her cheeks that came from more than any exertion dancing might have caused. His skin burned from where she touched his; his palms were seared to a blackened crisp even as they remained pink as the slightly undercooked chicken Chi-Chi had feared would be served.

Instead of an answer, she just spun him around and then whispered in his own ear, "I like your new hairstyle."

Had the universe ever been sweeter to him?

The blonde wasn't the only one feeling relaxed. They passed Vegeta, who was sitting in a chair with his tie undone, the blue-haired woman passed out on his legs, and he only nodded at them like a genial king and had another handful of cake. The music picked up, and others found themselves on the dance floor. Instead of yelling at him, the new bride only laughed when Goku accidentally trod on her feet.

With his arms around her, Juuhachigou laughing as they clumsily moved around the dance floor, Krillin felt much better than he had in a long time. He allowed himself to believe that everything would be okay.

* * *

Krillin saw her again, this time a week later. As amazing as she looked in her costume, either of them, and that stunning yellow dress, she'd never seemed more beautiful than now. Even though his view was partially blocked from both darkness of night and the clouds blocking out even the moon, as well as being upside down.

He hung from the dangling ropes like a piñata. The claws holding him in place were far out of reach, no matter how far he stretched or swung. If she hadn't come around, the hero would have been there all night. It was strange how she managed to show up now, but he was so grateful that he was willing to chalk it up to fate rather than being a good detective and using sense to figure it out.

This time, the odds of her shoving him to his death seemed higher. Sure, he was much lower to the ground, but this time there weren't even any vagrants as witnesses.

"Help!"

She did a double-take, before a grin rose on her pale face. Right side up or not, it was malicious. It made him smile reluctantly, as it must have meant that she wasn't that angry. "Stuck?"

"Obviously."

Juuhachigou took her time getting to him, sauntering over slowly. "How did you manage this?"

_After you ran out before I got to say goodbye, I thought you'd be less happy to see me. _They'd spent the evening, when not dancing, drinking champagne and watching people cry. Krillin had thought that maybe they were more comfortable with each other; she'd even laughed alongside him as they witnesses Bulma pull herself out of unconsciousness and drag Vegeta out onto the floor.

Then he'd turned his back to find a scrap of chicken that might have survived, and returned to empty seats. Krillin had to ask Yamcha if Juuhachigou had ever been here, or if it had all been a dream. "No man, she was here. You okay?"

He didn't understand her at all.

"Oh, you know. I thought, maybe I could figure out an easier way of getting around using ropes."

Juuhachigou was laughing, trying to pull him down. "This is so stupid."

Krillin bounced right back up, cursing the existence of bungee cords. They'd gone from an ally, to his greatest enemy in a single failed bound to the next rooftop. "It's never failed this badly before."

"Why are you using graphooks? "

"I thought they would be cool."

"That'll be your downfall." Juuhachigou was smiling.

"Yeah, thanks for the advice. But could you help me get down? In a way that doesn't kill me," Krillin added.

"Where would the fun in that be?"

"How would you feel, if you were up here, trapped?"

"I would never be stupid enough-"

"Friendless, alone, growing cold."

"Cords slowly tightening around your throat?" Juuhachigou grabbed two hanging by his face, and pulled. Instead of yanking him down, or strangling him, he was just briefly brought forward, then back once she let go.

"Huh. You really are stuck."

Above them, there was the rumble of thunder and lightning and the rain that would drown him before electrocuting him.

"Please?"

"I thought you were some big_ hero_. And here you are, begging me to help you." She shoved him, but he came swinging right back.

His stomach spun. "You made your point."

"Shouldn't I be trying to kill you?" Casually, she hooked a finger around one rope to spin him around.

"Why would you do that?"

"Why not? Then I can lure Goku using your body, and kill him."

"You can't trust Gero!" If his face wasn't already red from the blood flowing down to it, it would have darkened from the passion in his voice. "If he's willing to put a bomb in you and your brothers' bodies, he's willing to kill and betray you."

_At least bring me along with you to fight him! I…just want to take a good swing at him for hurting you. Can you _understand_ that Juuhachigou? How much I care? Or would you just run away again, when we're getting close? _

"I know that. But maybe I can figure something out if I can get close to the old man. Maybe some blue prints, or just get close enough to shoot his head off."

"Are you actually going to kill him?"

She seemed amused by his hushed tone. "I nearly killed _you,_ didn't I?" Her hand, cold, touched below his eye.

"But you didn't."

"Yes, and sometimes I don't regret it."

It was the nicest thing she'd said.

Up close, he could see every dark eyelash.

He found himself staring at her boots and a collection of filled garbage cans. Unfortunately, on either side of the alley it was a fish restaurant, and what might have been a tannery. Cats meowed nearby. Krillin imagined what would happen if she left him here, and what the felines would do to his corpse as the pieces began to rot and fall down below.

But surely she, or someone else, would save him beforehand.

The heels of her boots were scuffed, showing wear, and he wondered if he should feel proud that she was apparently out here fighting for the cities and risking her life for the greater good. Or should he be nervous about what she'd been doing all this time, since as far as he knew, only his own band of merry crime fighters were doing anything to help cut down on the scum that festered.

'A rotting shithole,' Bulma had once called the city, after returning from a lovely holiday across the ocean. Maybe it was, but Krillin had sworn to protect its inhabitants from evil. Regardless of where they lived, they were human beings. Besides, the place grew on you. You found yourself not minding the homeless, the rampant drug users that clung to every corner, the blighted businesses and failing schools. It became home.

The sky opened to let our rain, but little moonlight. The weather of this shithole was bad too.

"Do you want me to cut you down?" Her yellow hair was beginning to plaster itself to her skull. Loops of it were clinging to her forehead, but she either didn't notice or care. They all seemed to be the same length, a feature he'd never appreciated properly until now.

She kept coming closer.

"You look so stupid."

Her fingers looked behind his head. Cradling him or holding him still to properly glare him down? It reminded him of their time at the wedding. "Why did you ever shave your head?"

"I thought you liked my hair?"

"Oh, I do." Almost sweetly, she tugged at the back of his hair. It wasn't very long, but she managed to find enough to slide her fingers through it.

For the first time in a long time, he thought clearly of Marron. Rationally, Krillin could recall touching, holding, kissing her. But never so desperately. His chest was afire, like the time they were fighting Piccolo, and the green-skinned man threw Molotov cocktails at him and Goku. They were in the hospital for a week, and the pain of second degree burns was nothing compared to this. He wanted to say something about how she caused a fire in his heart that burned through his veins and caused his hands to shake, but his lower lip was between her teeth.

_A bonfire awakes every time I see you and…_

"I can't breathe!"

The sleek fabric of her costume made a contrast to that straight silk hair. He could taste his own blood; feel the ropes cutting into his skin. As unusual as it was for him to be kissing someone, it was only odder at this angle. She had to hold him in place to kiss him. Then he would pull away, gasping for air. ("I need to breathe Juuhachi!") Immediately, Juuhachigou sunk her teeth in his neck.

She wrestled with his outfit. It withstood her violence, as it was created to. "Damn you." The pink-faced blonde woman punched him, straight in the stomach. While he dry heaved, she began searching through her pockets and belt for a sharp knife.

When Juuhachigou cut him loose, and he tumbled half onto the filthy cement pathway and the rest of him into her arms, Krillin didn't care. Not even when she cut into his orange shirt, because she was leading him back to her hideous pink van.

The next time Group rolled around, he would never be able to tell them about this night.


	5. Issue Number 125 and a half

Issue Number 125.5

Thanks for those who reviewed, randompandattack, Individual Lies and Krillin Fan, and anyone else who added the story to their favorites.

Starting to near the end.

_I was fast asleep dreaming I was rain  
I fell from the clouds to touch your frame  
But you just hid your face beneath your hands now  
Delirium is soothing me  
Just close your eyes  
go to sleep  
I was holding on hanging by a thread  
Clinging to 3 words you said  
But words are meaningless  
in your absence  
this violation's a victory  
just close your eyes_

_go to sleep  
Delirium is soothing me  
I'll keep your words close to me  
this violation's a victory  
just close your eyes  
go to sleep_

Accident Sex, Vendetta Red

* * *

Her awakening is a series of sounds:

_The door to her coffin being opened._

_"You and your brother will be perfect."_

_A slow exhale of preparation._

_The sound of a drill._

The thing that might have been the worst and most curious was that she not only couldn't remember her earlier life, but had no interest in it. Family, friends, loved ones, a home, a different place in life. What had those been? Why did she care about such things at some point? Why _didn't _she care anymore?

Because, they had no purpose. They had no point. Randomness. They meant nothing.

Once she had a harmless life where surely she lived in a home with her brother. Maybe she was a student or had a job. In some town or city, she would have grown up in or by. She would have watched TV without wondering if the sometimes fuzzy reception was caused by her, and maybe had a relationship with a man who had a real job that didn't involve dodging gunfire from other men in rubber suits, and had parents to call and talk to rather than planning on killing her 'father'.

_Now_, she had a purpose. In fact, she'd had two that were ingrained into her.

The first was to obey Dr. Gero, the leader of the Red Ribbon Army, and to therefore follow his command to kill Goku Son.

The second, that followed as quickly as it took for the capsule she and her brother were locked in to open, was to kill Gero. Undo everything he'd done, to make him pay and suffer. For some reason, the second purpose in her life was even less bloodless than the first. Gero had done something to focus his revenge for Goku into them, a menagerie of murder fantasies, lurid and detailed.

Even as she caught her brother's eye, as blue as her own, as blue as Gero's, they'd known that they would have their own vengeance. But it would come in time. They would play his game and jerk and dance when he pulled the strings. They would give him what he wanted, then tear it away before he could savor his victory.

For a psychotic mad man, Gero however was still rational enough to have some form of a safety backup. The controller in his hand was a plain black and grey box, the buttons white or the color of old blood. "You become insubordinate one more, and I won't bother shutting you down this time.

"You may not have noticed, but I have made a few…modifications to your design."

Juurokugou, their green and black shadow, seemed to agree with him. He was not afraid of saying no to Gero, in his own gentle way. But he would follow the first rule.

For him as well, they would kill Son.

Her awakening is a series of smells:

_Formaldehyde._

_Bleach._

_Grease._

It took a week to find Goku.

Her brother staked him out, seeing all the heroes crowding into one place. "Why are they all in this dump? Don't they realize how stupid this is?" But they didn't attack. Later, perhaps, they might take care of his friends before his friends went after them. But for now, they would kill just Goku. As his friends crept out, looking just like men, nothing special, Juuhachigou pulled her long black overcoat on. Juurokugou smiled and escorted her into the apartment building, like a gentleman.

Little could compare to what she thought was her goal in life.

In this filthy city, where everything was grim and meaningless, Krillin seemed to be the only thing that was clean and innocent. He spent his nights beating people up, but had asked her to a wedding, as a friend since he was too cowardly to ask her out on a date. Danced with her, but never allowed his hands to stray and didn't kiss her.

Would she have let him?

It almost didn't matter what he wanted, just because he did not flinch when he touched her, never asked except one snide remark about the bomb planted inside her. The way he smiled, the soft look in his eyes, even as she insulted him. His stupid collection of toys, his idiotic friends, and even his dumb name and how easy she could have murdered him. But she didn't want to hurt him, or by extension, Goku.

Why, she still had no idea.

She obviously couldn't trust herself with him.

He in himself was a mystery, and one that made herself act strange. Had she really gone to the wedding of a man she was supposed to kill, and not with the intention of killing him (and it would have been quite easy to poison that cake; Goku shoved it down so quickly he nearly ate his own fork). Instead, she found herself dancing with one of his best friends.

Juuhachigou didn't even mind that she had left perfect fingerprints on the wineglass she used. Or that surely her face was on the video of the wedding the bride's frighteningly large and hairy father taped. Or, worse, that everyone there not only was no longer intimidated with her just because she'd allowed that shrimp to feed her cake from his fork.

Her awakening was a series of sights:

_An old man with dead blue eyes._

_Bright overhead lights._

_The Red Ribbon Insignia on his clothing._

Now though, she awoke again from what seemed like a year of sleep, and sitting up all she saw was a plainly furniture darkened bedroom, feeling the warmth of the body next to her, and see the comforter crumbled to the floor. In the corner there was a jumble of her brother's clothing, shoes and old t-shirts. The air smelled of sweat and something thicker and heavier.

His mumbled _come back to bed_ gave her a start as much as his hand touching her bare back. She allowed him to pull her back into the bed, telling herself that she would find some relief here, here.

Here.

* * *

It was funny how when they'd met for the first time, he had thought that they might have sex. And that after having saved him and spent a wedding with him, _now_ she was willing to sleep with him. After seeing him dance, it really was a miracle she was willing to go to bed with him.

There hadn't even been any weird outfits unless their costumes counted. At least this time there was no mention of lap dances and waving dollar bills around. That was a good thing.

Krillin spooned closer to her. She scooted away.

"Why do you run around in that ridiculous outfit, saving people all day?"

Sleep obviously was pulling at him, making his eyes drift half shut. But he stayed awake long enough to answer her unimportant question. "It's interesting work. I get fresh air and exercise. And I get to meet interesting women."

Juuhachigou looked at him over her shoulder. It was better to talk about whatever it was that fueled their lives and made them look for dangerous suicidal paths to take. Safer than to speak about what they'd done last night, and what drove them to do _that_. "Right."

_What made you decide to take up wearing a cape and fighting armed criminals? Let's talk about your no-doubt screwed up childhood rather than why I cut you loose and dragged you to my house. _

Then she was getting up and leaving him alone in a cold bed. "We should get going. Before my brother and Juurokugou come back."

"So, the big guy isn't your sibling after all."

_Forget that we're both naked, and that I need to change the sheets now. _

Juuhachigou was too busy pulling on her underwear and jeans to glare at him. "Whatever." She walked through the clothing gathered on the floor, stopping at the dresser to find a shirt. Unable to completely leave him, she decided to sit on the bed and put it on.

Krillin rolled over to her. The sheets were a puddle around his waist. He put an arm around her waist lightly, and just like that she could almost read his mind: _she's not wearing a bra, is she_. The blonde woman cupped the back of his head when he kissed her back through the thin fabric of her dark t-shirt. At her feet, there were a few scraps of their torn and thrown remains of their costume.

She didn't have the energy to put it on. It was bad enough to put that outfit on alone, where she had a chance to ease herself to seeing her reflection from the glass that lined the buildings to many of structures here. All this place had besides it were sooty bricks and crumbling cement. Everything was rusted and dying out here. Even its people seemed worn out from what she could see.

Every day she saw stories on the news of rises in crime, death, disease. The heroes were the only things giving them hope, and their heroes were only human.

"I have a lot on my plate, KameMan." But her fingers remained entwined with his short hair.

"I get that," he said slowly. "You don't want to be in a relationship right now."

An understatement that made her laugh. "Do you mind that?"

"I'm not sure." Krillin ran his lips over a knob in her spine. Again, his mind went: she's tense and looking for a reason to leave. "Can we at least be friends?"

"Who occasionally fuck, I'm sure."

His cheeks burned. "Uh. I don't know. I care for you."

"I don't think," Juuhachigou looked at him. "That I can give you what exactly you're looking for."

"What am I looking for?" His kisses moved up, slowly. One hand slid under her shirt, touching her stomach.

"When are your brothers coming back?"

There was no added thrill to sleeping with a man who often appeared in the newspaper. She could remember showing up here on the first day and seeing that face hidden halfway behind a mask. His grin was a nervous, spastic thing even printed in black and white. Meeting him had been a surprise, especially when she met him again, and again. Up close, it was true that people were shorter in real life than on TV.

Juuhachigou didn't understand why someone would like him more just because he'd saved the mayor from a madman armed with a machete. Besides, his friends had helped him fight most of those psychopaths and their henchmen. Their faces were right alongside his on the evening news.

"Uh," Kameman stuttered, cheeks flushed from being on camera. "I'm just doing my job, ma'am."

Immediately, his scarred friend was being flirted with by reporter.

Krillin was just a guy with a particularly dangerous job. Like a fireman, but with a worst outfit, and more burning.

She did however did enjoy those interest scars. That and how ticklish he could be, the way words would leave him suddenly. That grin and mussed hair and big dark eyes which offered a cliché about drowning into them to pop into her head. Pink skin and small feet that scrambled against the sheet when she casually pushed him onto the bed. Kissing him, and having her nose touch that bare expanse of skin where his nose should have been. The firm dense muscles were not to be despised either. Or the rounded ass that she noticed now in the growing light that revealed his curled legs, and the knobby knees.

"Juuhachigou! No biting!"

It should have been meaningless, if not to him, than to her. Or used to cement the upper hand she already had. Juuhachigou should have used his attraction as a way of twisting him around. Copulation of some form should have been a bargaining chip that may or may not be cashed. She should have kept him waiting, dragging him along on veiled promises or simply knowing looks.

Still, there were bright spots to this, besides her relaxed sex-drive and preening libido.

_If I commit a serious crime, he could probably wipe my fingerprints off the scene, and help me hide the bodies. _

"You know," Krillin laughed, touching his hair absently, as though making sure it was still there. One hand pushed her mouth away ineffectively. He giggled stupidly when Juuhachigou began sucking and nipping on his fingers. "I don't think I did anything to deserve this. Or enough."

_A bad or a good thing? Or does it not matter?_

"Fair doesn't have anything to do with this." The words came out more ominous than she intended, and understandably alarmed Krillin. That had to be rectified.

When she rolled on top of him, Juuhachigou found herself also appreciating the flat stomach and the way his laughter sent a vibration through her own body. Kissing him was a distraction, something that kept her mind from her mission, from her state, the old man, the bomb that might be ticking right now. They might be about to die right now. Strangely, she didn't mind, although it would be a shame for the guy underneath her. Still.

This was the thing that added a thrill. Maybe they only have ten minutes to live.

His skin tasted of sweet salt.

"I thought you said no biting?"

She was not programmed to take a lover, but she was also not supposed to turn on her creator either.

* * *

"Can I see you again?"

"Just get out now! Hurry, before they see you."

Her brother's yell made them both flinch. "Juuhachigou? Were you sleeping this entire time?"

"Go now."

"I want to see you again. Even if, you know, you don't want to date me."

"Just get out of here."

"Promise me."

"I'll push you down the fire escape if you don't leave now."

"Promise."

"Fine."

Then she pushed him so he tumbled down and _over_ the rusting metal stairs. Thankfully, the large and full garbage acted as a cushion as he fell. The rotting cabbage really protected his head. Against the black ripped garbage bags, his chest barely hidden by a ripped shirt and body armor was particularly pale. Krillin looked up at her, obviously pained, and waved up at Juuhachigou. His grin was pathetically sweet and dopey.

_If there was ever a man to be shot in the back, there he is. _

_Truly_, she thought, watching him drag himself from the dumpster, _no one like him can last long in this world._

She rolled her eyes and slammed the window shut.

* * *

"So," Everyone stared at him from their chairs, all of them gleaming in rich blacks or blues or red or greens or oranges or purples. His Master was flipping through a magazine, tuned out since Goku had begun talking about how much ham he'd eaten during his honeymoon. "Krillin, what did you do last night? Fight anyone particularly menacing?"

"Not much."

"...as big as my head! As big as _both_ our heads!"

"I guess that Chi-Chi's a real keeper."

* * *

"So," Juunanagou looked at her over their breakfast table, Juurokugou behind him at the oven. Complete with apron, the large man flipped another pancake to help fulfill her twin's urge to eat his weight in them. "What did you do last night?"

"Nothing in particular."

"Do you want blueberries, or chocolate chips on this one?"

"Hell, bring 'em both on."

* * *

Bulma inspected the bottle nearly as closely as she did his appearance. Sitting here alone on this couch, Krillin wondered if there was any outward sign of what had happened to him. He had spent the night with the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on; wouldn't there be a physical sign of this? Besides the marks on his back that was, and Krillin couldn't exactly show those off.

He still couldn't believe that she had done that with him, done that with him. Why would she do that, let a miserable person such as him be so near to her? Juuhachigou seemed the type to not let anyone close but it had happened. In reality, not just in his daydream.

Being without her after such intimacy was painful, making his stomach twist. A physical pain, as though he were missing an arm, a leg, and part of his liver. If he thought about it too long, Krillin could almost feel tears being to well as his chest ached.

_This was what being on heroin must feel like. _Or what being off it was like. Withdrawal.

He had to see her again. For his own health.

"I brought you booze, what more do you want?"

"An explanation."

"For what?"

"For starters, why this is so late in coming."

"I was busy."

"I don't believe that for a second." She stared at him grimly. Her hands clutched the wine. "What was really the problem?"

As with the new exquisite blonde in his life, Bulma could see into his soul and reveal all his flaws with a flash of blue eyes. "You met someone?"

"No." But a grin was spreading on his face, making his denial absurd. "Yes."

The blue-haired woman leaned in close. "Who? _Who_?"

"Guess."

Bulma scowled. "Fine. Uh. Uh." She was at such a loss that Krillin frowned heavily.

He slid over a clue. "You met her before."

"Ooh. Now I really don't know."

"She's very pretty."

"In your mind? Or in reality?"

"Both." Krillin was irked. "Come on, I thought you were a genius."

"Oh shut up. It's a lot easier working on aerodynamics of the latest shuttle than finding a woman who would date you. Wait. Does she know you exist, and that you two are dating?"

"Yes." But then he remembered what she said about not dating him. She must have seen this on his face, because the scientist only looked more skeptical.

"Damnit, Bulma, I can get a girlfriend." Although perhaps that was too far a word to describe what Juuhachigou was to him.

"Yeah, I remembered Marron. Wait. That's not her, is it? Please, god, tell me it's not _her_."

"It's not."

"Then who?"

"Oh, Bulma." He shook his head, enjoying how his hair flopped into his eyes in a way he was sure was sophisticated and debonair.

"I don't think there even is a girl. She only exists in your mind.

"And you looked ridiculous with that mop-top."

"You met her at the wedding!" Krillin yelled, one hand going to lightly stroke his hair.

"That blonde girl?" You could have thrown a shoe through Bulma's wide-open mouth. "No way."

"Yes, that's her. Isn't she amazing?"

"So what's wrong with her?" Again, she saw through him. "That bomb, right?"

"Yeah. Can you help her at all with that?"

"I'd really have to check it out. I'd be afraid to tamper with it though. Biology's not exactly my thing." She looked pensive, while Krillin tried not to look too crushed. So much could be undone if Bulma only found a way to get rid of those bombs. He could see Juuhachigou's face light up, focusing on him and him alone. _"You may have found a way to get rid of those bombs?" _The smile lifted up in one corner of her mouth. Afterward, she could rethink her stance on their relationship.

"Or is there something else?"

"Well…"

"What?"

"She," _Doesn't want to date me._ "Oh you know. She's…"

"What is it Krillin? Is she crazy?"

"No." Then he recalled her moon shift in that alley. From threatening to leave him hanging, to kissing him frantically in the van, driving one handed and they barely dodged dying in an automobile crash. "Uh. In a good way."

"Well, if things don't work out, just make sure to get back on that horse."

"I don't know. I think she likes me."

"You don't know?"

"I think so. I don't know. I think so." The scratches on his back itched like mad. Why she had allowed him to be so close to her, without a pause, only to put a hold on ever being together. Would he be allowed so close to her again? Against his fingers, Krillin could almost feel her silky, bone-straight and turned to a white blonde in her darkened bedroom. It was almost cruel.

She started to laugh. "Yeah, to be fair, it's not like you two slept together or anything. That's usual a clear sign, but who are we kidding?"

The cup of excellent tea Bulma's mother had left for them paused on its way to Krillin's mouth. His back was on fire. Bulma was _good _at this.

She went insane. "You…no way. No way. _No way_."

"Well, I have Group to get to. See you later Bulma." Krillin waved to her happily, before jumping through the open window, pausing long enough to slap an extra strong adhesive before sliding down on a rope attached to it.

From now on, he no longer trusted bungee cords and griphooks.

Of course, halfway there Bulma found a pair of scissors and cut the line so he had to crawl down using the rain gutter. But it was still safer. Even though he was late to helping the group try to negotiate with Frieza who'd found his way into another bank, and was currently holding a room full of people hostage.

And after all, late or not, they saved the day. So what if he and Goku were forced into nearly identical outfits as Freiza's henchmen and ex-henchmen (Vegeta) wore, then forced to crawl through the ventilation system and dodge gunshots fired at them as they ran through the actual corporate park and garden the Nameks had donated? Did it matter that since he was wearing an old pair of shoes that he had a difficult time running away? Really, when all was said and done, and everyone's eye sight came back, Vegeta stopped hemorrhaging blood, and Goku was off being harassed by his new wife for the new burns he'd acquired, everything turned out to be okay.

Plus, despite the brain damage of getting thrown repeatedly through a two desks until they were destroyed by his skull, he still remembered Juuhachigou's address.

* * *

Her brother glanced up from his television screen. "Hey, Juuhachigou, there's a live action show for those two idiots."

They watched with disbelief, making choked noises at the dialogue and character designs and outfits. The villains were nearly as bad, horrible threats, conspicuous bald caps and all. Sadly, Krillin role was delegated to mostly being harmed for comedy, or to get his partner worked up into a frothy rage. Somehow, Goku managed to lose his shirt twice.

"How dare you hurt my friend? I'm so angry; I'm going to throw you into this fire!"

"What? That wasn't enough to stop you?"

Thrice.

She kept her visible displeasure to a minimum when the shorter hero's love interest was revealed. His moronic leering only cemented his place as the comic relief. Juuhachigou doubted that Krillin even liked red-heads, and she couldn't blame him. Who wanted to have a thing for pale, freckled, ginger-headed girls, especially helpless ones that he was forced to rescue every fifteen minutes. Clearly she was just eye candy.

Personally though, Juuhachigou kept her own gaze on the actor playing Krillin. They didn't look totally dissimilar, even if this one had a nose. Of course he kept all _his _clothes on.

"Well, it's just a movie." Her words were meant to comfort herself.

"Look at what they did to Goku's hair." On his lime green beanbag, her brother looked too comfortable to get worked up about it though. His words were apathetic, and he showed more energy polishing his rifle than the screen. Beneath his feet, a collection of screws nearly hid the light brown carpeting.

"Krillin's not bald anymore though."

Her twin's stare was suspicious. "How would you know?"

"I've seen him a few times," she said noncommittally. "At least I think it was him. Or maybe it was the other short one."

"I guess they got the costume right for the midget."

"I think there's more blue on his."

"Really?"

Juurokugou came into the living room, holding up half of an orange shirt. Krillin had taken whatever was left of it, wearing it like a vest. Personally, Juuhachigou hadn't minded the sight. She _had_ made a personal note to herself to get rid of the garment in the morning, sure that they'd just left it in the van. One of his shoes had to be in there, as well as his socks.

"Juuhachigou," he grumbled. "Is this yours?"

Two pairs of identical blue eyes fell on her.

"Yes."

"Really?"

Juurokugou was as doggedly patient as ever. "I don't remember you having this before." He meant nothing from it. The huge man simply couldn't recall her ever having that shirt before.

"Where did you get that from, sis?" Her brother was nothing but suspicious. He even put down his weapon. Of course he didn't voice anything, just asked seemingly innocent questions until she hung herself.

"Am I not allowed an orange t-shirt?"

"But it's ripped."

"So?"

"It looks awfully familiar."

"Like those idiot heroes. From the Scooby gang. Hey, Juuhachi," The darker twin was peering over the remnants of the shirt. "Did you rob Goku or his little sidekick?"

"What?" She turned on her brother. "You think what? I slept with that midget? That in a rush of _passion,"_ Juuhachigou spat the word out. "I tore off his shirt? While I was having sex with him?"

"…no." Juunanagou allowed. "I just asked if you robbed them. And I would hope you'd at least seduce the taller one."

"Shut up. Both of you."

Juurokugou held the shirt up. "I'll just fix this up then."

"You just do that then, Juurokugou." And with finality, she took Juunanagou's remote and changed the channel. "Look, that lizard-man Frieza is holding a group of bankers' hostage on WCN. Let's watch that."


	6. Issue Number 126

Thanks for reviewing Individual Lies and anyone who added this story or the writer onto their favorites.

Almost done here, folks, so thanks for sticking around and reading this far. Just one more chapter after this.

* * *

As soon as she took her first step out of the doorway and onto the cracked cement pathway that led to the building's front door, he jumped out at her.

Literally jumping out from behind a browning Magnolia bush, and making her flatten herself against the door. If it hadn't been it getting stuck in the frame of the old settling house, she would have gone flying backwards into the house. But it held strong, and so she was forced to look him in the eye while catching her breath. It brought forth a feeling of déjà vu that she refused to fully acknowledge.

"What is wrong with you?"

"You promised."

And that was when she noticed the blindfold in his hands.

* * *

"Okay, just a little while longer."

"Do I really need this?" Juuhachigou gingerly touched the cloth over her eyes.

"Yes, now stop messing with it."

"If we're just going out to dinner, is this really necessary?"

"Yes. Not that we're going out to dinner. Or maybe we are. You never know." His voice lowered. "I am a mystery, wrapped in an enigma and covered with a delicious layer of deceit and lies."

The blonde woman laughed and stopped messing with the blindfold. "I really do hope you're taking me to dinner. You sound pretty hungry."

She didn't flinch when he leaned forward to kiss her cheek. "Don't worry, we're almost there."

"I hope it's an Italian place."

"Oh, stop it."

Clever fingers found their way on his belt. "Or what?"

They would both die in an embarrassing fiery car crash. Yamcha would be pissed when he found out Krillin wrecked his truck, but hopefully would find it within himself to forgive his either dead or comatose friend.

Her blind kisses were sloppy and sweet. Her mouth touched his cheek more than his own mouth, pissing her off. "Hold still." When the car drifted into the next lane, Krillin could barely bring himself to tear himself away from her. Cars honked and brakes shrieked, but Juuhachigou's lips were swollen and pink. Under the plain white cloth, he was sure her eyes were soft and affectionate. Or maybe frustrated and angry.

They would definitely die in an automobile accident.

"Tease."

She settled for touching his hair, (_"you look so much better, why would you ever shave this off,")_ while he tried to remember where the home he'd lived in since he was a teenager was located.

_Friends who fuck?_

Immediately, his face turned red, and he was glad she couldn't see him.

The first thing she said when they arrived, and he allowed her to take the blindfold, was "Why is that building pink?"

Which wasn't fair, considering the state of her stolen van.

Swiftly, Juuhachigou followed up with a complaint about the upkeep. "It's a dump. Look at that thing I've never seen such a tiny house surrounded by such a huge field. It's like something out of a Lynch film."

"I swear, you won't find an ear here."

"We won't be able to find it in all those weeds anyway. They're taller than you are." Reluctantly, she unbuckled her seat belt.

"Come on. I'll take you out to dinner afterward. Italian maybe?"

Juuhachigou allowed him to lead her inside. "Just promise me we won't go Dutch.

"Speaking of which, how do you carry a wallet in your costume?"

Krillin had done his best. She appeared unimpressed with the vase of flowers left on the end table. All the porn and bright paints and furniture probably distracted the blonde from the freshly picked, red muted daisies. Juuhachigou kept staring at a calendar on the wall dating back to probably the year she'd been born. At least the short hero had made his housemates stack the magazines and videos.

Oolong gave her a double-take from his seat in the living room. He took in her appearance, from the top of her bright perfectly groomed head to her black tennis shoes, resting briefly on her white t-shirt covered chest and jeaned hips. "I guess you've been holding out on us. I _told _Roshi to make you pay rent."

She turned to him, a smile on her face, eyebrows raised with disbelief. "You _live_ here?"

"Obviously if you could afford this girl," The pig motioned to an unhappy and increasingly angry Juuhachigou. "You could cough up some money for rent."

Her teeth were gritted. "Did you tell them how we _met_?" Obviously, it was still a sore subject with her. Krillin himself had moved past it, and rarely suffered anymore nightmares that involved moving away from her attempted needle-in-the-eye too slowly.

Twitching, and rubbing one eye like it had dust in it, Krillin shook his head. "No."

"So how much-"

She immediately threw an abandoned coffee mug at Oolong. "One more time," the slim woman promised the squealing housemate. "Then I put you in an oven with an apple in your mouth."

After he'd run upstairs, tripping on the steps and his own feet, Juuhachigou glanced at Krillin. "I thought you had an apartment in the city?"

"Well, I thought you had some fancy surveillance equipment to monitor me and Goku."

The blonde practically turned her nose up. "We've been focusing on something more important."

"Like what?"

"Why did you even bring me here?"

"Just meet everyone else. Then I'll explain." That was a lie; he would do nothing of the sort. He_ couldn't_ really explain any of this.

"There aremore people here? How do you all fit?"

"We enter rooms in shifts. Come on."

He dragged her into the kitchen.

Master Roshi actually dropped his magazine. "This is better than a picture, I will say that." His glasses slid down his nose to properly leer at her.

"You're the man who trained Krillin and Goku?"

"Those are my students." Krillin could have taken more pleasure if the pride in his Master's voice was focused so intently on Juuhachigou's chest. "The best and brightes-the quickes-the_ strongest _in the city."

"He managed to not get hit in the latest hale of gunfire he experienced," Juuhachigou allowed. "But what's with those costumes?"

"Oh, you don't like them. Well, if _you_ became my student, I'd make sure to design a brand new outfit just for-"

In this room, Juuhachigou had a lot more access to ceramic mugs, and other things for ammo. Master Roshi retired downstairs; clutching his bleeding head and mumbling that Krillin's last girlfriend had been friendlier. "_And_ more stacked," was his parting shot as he slammed the door shut so the flying cup would only shatter on the wood.

"I'm not even going to ask about your ex; I'm just going to assume she was mentally and physically disabled and leave it at that."

"Thanks."

"So, is this like meeting your family?" Those blue eyes that missed so little focused on him. Krillin wondered if it was good or bad she didn't bring up all the kitsch in this room.

"I guess."

"Or was it some sort of litmus test?" She knew him so well.

"You didn't run out screaming. That's a good sign."

"Of what?"

* * *

All the buildings on her block were townhouses with tiny porches. Small black metal fences guarded postal stamp sized yards. Dirty white window frames held smudged glass and sometimes pieces of cardboard to keep out the weather. Cracked cement and a street littered with potholes were the only roads leading in and through the street.

Not far away, there was the ugly orange light of the city, spreading. They would knock these houses down in time, and build a parking garage or a newer more expensive row of townhouses. Already, dumpsters and cheap liquor stores and high-rises were being pushed here.

Krillin had seen a million houses like this. A million blocks of houses like this.

There seemed be a perfect beam of light coming through the clouds overhead, aiming just for her home.

This was where she lived, rested her head, had brought him here for the single best night of his life. He could still feel her mattress under him, imagined smelling her shampoo or conditioner or something on the pillows that made him even want to kiss those, feel his fingers slipping on the fire escape peeling away from the building.

It was a funny base of operations, but obvious one where the neighbors weren't in the habit of asking questions, and things were cheap.

"Where's that pink van?"

"In the garage," Juuhachigou paused. "I think your shoes are in there."

"And my socks."

"Do you really not have any more pairs of socks?"

"Maybe I liked those ones? Memories."

She smiled and stole one of his French fries. "Maybe I'll keep them then. As a trophy."

As the blonde woman seemed to expect, he blushed rosily and looked away. To save himself from saying anything, he took a bite of his hamburger. Krillin wondered whether he should have ordered a smaller burger, and if he shouldn't have ordered onions on this one.

She was staring at a garlic fry.

"These things are terrible. I don't know why I ordered them." Juuhachigou tossed it back into the bag with disgust. "Thanks for paying."

"Well, I owed you. Thanks for helping me move the rest of my stuff."

"Don't forget saving you when you were caught on that-Never mind. What are friends for? Besides, it's probably for the best that I know the extent of your obsession with action figures. Three boxes, huh?"

"To be fair, I have owned most of them since I was a kid."

Juuhachigou took a sip of the milkshake they were sharing. At the drive-thru, Krillin had been forced to ask, "Do you have a quarter on you?"

"I thought you said you'd pay for it."

"Well, you wanted garlic fries."

They rummaged through Yamcha's spare change, but had to settle on only one shake. Absurdly, he felt guilty, and was relieved when she joked about it.

"Tragic." Juuhachigou had shaken her blonde head. "Now we only get to overstuff ourselves with a few several thousand calories."

There was also the added bonus of sharing the same straw, making every sip an indirect kiss. Just the thought of that made him smile. As did her gleaming, soft-looking hair that was a sharp contrast to the dark grey overcast sky. Her cheeks were a little pink from the cold, but she looked comfortable in a jean jacket worn over a green shirt, and a pair of jeans. Really, she looked lovely and perfect; in those plain clothes she at least looking like a model in some magazine, not even slumming. He couldn't believe she was even sitting on some old truck, eating fast food. Let alone with him.

Krillin felt like a slob in a grey sweatshirt (nicer than the one he'd worn before), blue shirt and jeans the same shade as hers, though his were shapeless and baggy. He went perfectly with this automobile, the stained seats in the cab, dented bumper, and all.

Their hands touched when they both reached for the onion rings. It would have been nice, if not for the dark blue bruises darkening the knuckles.

"What happened? Did you get that terrorizing my roommates?"

But she refused to explain. "They're fine."

He assumed she was talking about her knuckles rather than his housemates. Then she shut him up with stuffing a French fry down his throat.

"Is this better than Italian?"

"Oh sure. If we had spaghetti, you'd probably want some pathetic Lady and the Tramp reenactment."

"I don't have a nose to push a meatball, though."

"I guess I'd be the one to do that then."

He smiled and swung his legs, looking down at the oil stained street. He tried not to think about what she'd said, and what it meant. In the back of Yamcha's truck, they could see a good portion of the neighborhood. It looked nicer when you were in a good mood. Definitely nicer than the home he'd grown up in. But then, growing up in a monk's temple in the dustiest part of the country before running away to the biggest city in the west was more interesting anyway.

Krillin recalled those brown-hued days almost fondly. He remembered dodging bullies, sullenly pulling rocks from the garden, picking at his spotted skin and crossing off days on the calendar until he turned eighteen. Finally, at thirteen he'd taken off. Amazing how much his life had changed and finally started before he'd been old enough to shave anything besides his head.

"Do you like living here?"

"It's alright. Quiet enough."

She crumbled up wrappers and threw them into the nearly empty grease stained paper bag, then hopped off the back of the truck. "Come on; let's go find your socks."

It was awkward hunting for the scraps of clothing he'd left during the time he'd slept over. Looking around the garage, Krillin could recall running in his bare feet through it to the door that led inside the house, Juuhachigou tugged at his arm all the while. He spent ten seconds too long wiping his bare feet and she began yelling at him. They both carefully avoided looking at the stained mat and each other's eyes.

Krillin shoved his found socks into his pockets, like he'd seen people do in the movies after a one-night stand. Not that this was what that was. This was the afternoon after the morning after.

They still couldn't find his other shoe. Even when Juuhachigou shoved her hands under the seats. The only thing he could do was stare wide-eyed at the sight of her bending over and wiggling.

"I guess you don't really need that shoe anyway."

He took her hand like an old-fashioned suitor and kissed her knuckles. Against his, her fingers felt bony and small. The tips of her fingers were mauve and pink beneath the clear moon-shaped fingernails. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Alright," Juuhachigou touched the top of his head carefully. "I guess I did promise."

She patted his head like a dog. "No more making me carry your hand painted little dolls, okay?"

"Alright, sure." He brushed aside her hand, turning around the leave.

"Wait." Juuhachigou sounded exhausted. She grabbed him by the shoulders, spinning him, sighing. "Okay, alright, you win."

"Win what?'

Her mouth tasted like chocolate from the shake. When she wrapped her arms around him, fingers intertwined with his hair (why had he ever shaved it off, _why?),_ he actually felt his knees growing weak. Now he understood what people meant when they talked about melting just at a touch. After she let go, he could only look up at her and smile in a way that even he knew was too stupid to even be insipid.

For something that wasn't a date, this definitely seemed like more than friends hanging out.

* * *

Krillin remembered things in flashes.

He remembered her on a roof with an amazing view. Outlined by flashing lights in a dirty alley. In a yellow dress or jeans. Perfection was never supposed to last for more than a second, Krillin had always believed, but Juuhachigou seemed to live in a life of the perfect spotlight with the perfect lines. In that alley, looking like nothing short of an angel. Anything could have happened. And then it did.

He remembered a lonely childhood that involved playing with rocks more than other children. Goku had been his first friend, and god knew how much Krillin had despised him at first. Never before had he met a man so capable of kindness so thoughtlessly. Because of him, Krillin had not only lived to see adulthood, but became a decent man.

He remembered getting shoved into the side of the van, rain pouring down and Juuhachigou unable to both kiss him and look for the key. So Krillin had to search for them on her, while the door handle dug into his back. It took them ten minutes just to unlock her van. Cats hissed and ran by their feet. Theirs masks would brush and scrape and hinder their actions until she finally ripped them off.

He remembered the gun Juuhachigou had slid into his hands. "Just hang onto it." It weighed more than Goku when he would get knocked out, and Krillin would have to drag him to safety. "Make sure you don't shoot your foot off."

He remembered her inviting him along, though she could have brought her brother along. "No, he'll just attack the old man. I need information before he dies." How she led him down falling-down halls and through rusted buildings that she knew well. He followed Juuhachigou through the decrepit back alleys in places that even he and Goku would have thought twice about going into. These were places where cops came with dogs to search for missing bodies.

He remembered Juunanagou and Juurokugou driving up slowly to temporarily blind them before parking illegally. Krillin could still hear them arguing. Perhaps she didn't want her brother to find out about her and the stupid man in a rubber suit? "Damnit, Okay, you and Roku and the turtle boy go inside. I'll head down the road. I'll never forgive you if you kill him without my help, Juuhachigou. I swore I would kill him."

He remembered breaking down his first door, years ago. He got his foot stuck, and Goku had to help pull him out of the wood. His first gunshot (_don't think about that_) wound, his first trip to the hospital, first broken bone, the first moment when he fully understood that he might die. He wasn't any superhero. He had no powers. He was just a guy in a bulletproof vest that wouldn't protect his head.

He remembered how quickly things had grown out of hand when the doctor had been waiting for them. Those same eyes. How quickly he had opened fire, shooting Juurokugou so quickly that Krillin still didn't understand, or believe it. Even when the big guy slowly collapsed to the ground. His blood had been black, and when it drenched their shoulders and faces, the hero had forgotten how warm blood could be. _It's going to scald me_, but the pain never came.

"I should have scrapped that failure sooner." Gero tucked the gun away, hiding it as though it was something obscene. Everything must have smelled like gunpowder and it made Krillin's eyes itch.

"I thought you'd be with Juunanagou. Where is he?" The words were a demand. Juuhachigou could only look at him, face tattooed with black drops. Her eyes were huge. One of her earrings gleamed in the light.

"Do you think I won't press the button? I had planned to reprogram you for another purpose, but I suppose sacrifices can be performed."

Juurokugou was still bleeding. Krillin could feel his blood on his skin. It would be sticky when it dried, tacky, and he would have to bathe twice to get it all off. He saw himself in the shower, watching the water turn pink. If, of course, they lived through this.

He remembered those blue eyes, how they wordlessly promised him things. He wanted to ask her how she could let someone like him so close to her, but the words shifted to nonsensical moans. Their flat stomachs touching and making him giggle insanely. "Stop laughing, and hurry up. Weirdo." Then Juuhachigou had laughed.

Pulling at his hair. "Come on."

"Oh, fuck you, I'll kill you if you don't…" She really was as small and firm and lovely as he'd imagined. She was perfect, and he loved her, he did. He did.

So when Dr. Gero threatened Juuhachigou with a remote, Krillin pulled the trigger.

The old man grunted, looking down and watching a red flower blossom onto his shirt.

With a soft clatter than made her flinch, the remote was slipping from his numb fingers. He was dying, dying, and she was free. It felt exactly the opposite of when she'd been freed of the coffin she'd been kept in.

Krillin's eyes were larger than the wound it seemed. And it was him she found herself rushing toward, rather than the dying man, or Juurokugou's cooling body. The short hero was trying to croak something out. Or was that Gero? She grabbed Krillin, pulling him by the arm that had gone limp. Juuhachigou pulled the gun away from him. It seemed to wake him up from his dream state.

"I," he looked up at her with huge eyes. There were tears willing in them, making them greyer than their normal nondescript shade of black. Now they nearly matched the color of the burn marks on the other two's wounds. "Oh, Juuhachigou.

"I never meant to…"

She couldn't spare any pity or gentleness at the moment. Her grip remained tight on his arm, tugging, tugging him away. "We have to leave, before his little minions show up. He wouldn't be here alone."

She remembered beakers full of liquids he never explained, books piled, the sterile operating room. Juuhachigou could smell the cleaning solution he used. It burned her nose and skin. She could hear the hum of drill, see the sharp gleam of a razor from the overhead lights.

No please, and for the first time since they were children she could hear Juunanagou sobbing. What was his name? What was it? Her little brother sounded so broken, but she couldn't even remember his name.

Juuhachigou's hand tightened around Krillin's arm.

Her stomach gave a twinge as they passed Juurokugou. How could he be dead? Just yesterday he was humming in their kitchen, annoying her, talking to her about the dents she'd left on the van and the ones her headboard had left on the walls. Juunanagou had looked over his magazine, the cover emblazed with a flaming guitar, his eyebrows nearly touching his hairline, an amazing feat of nature. And she had just sat there, blank-faced, and Juurokugou had said. Had said. Not to worry, because he would just cover the marks and repaint if needed.

There was any pain or rage. She just wished that she had spent more time searching for Gero, more time with Juurokugou. With Krillin though, she found herself thinking, well, one more hour wouldn't hurt.

Was this shock?

"I never meant to kill him." He grabbed her hand, looking for relief or forgiveness. "Juuhachigou, I just killed someone."

"Get used to it," and then she shoved him through the door and into the night.


	7. Issue Numer 127

Heroes 7

Sorry this has taken forever to get out. I struggled a lot with how to exactly end this. But it's finally, finally done.

And you guys are probably not going to be happy about where I left it.

* * *

come on pretty you still got it don't you  
make it fancy now he's gone  
come on pretty you still got it  
don't you  
you and me like a million to one

i am a super hero  
i will swing you away  
we will tap the heels of our bare feet  
to our hearts we swagger and sway

come on pretty come on come on

Hills, Thao Nguyen

What would have happened, if he had jumped from that tower Juuhachigou had brought him to? Would that man have still been alive? Surely.

And what if he'd been killed by Piccolo's old gang, or by Frieza while he robbed another bank? If one of the various men he'd caught and sent to jail over the years had managed to get to a gun or knife before Krillin had wrestled it away?

He had never killed anyone before.

His eyes fell again on Juuhachigou. In the pale morning, she didn't turn to dust. If anything, she was more stunning in the sunlight. Cream and gold. Her pink mouth was pursed in some thoughtful dream.

_But she had._ Surely.

She had washed most of the blood using a faucet in a gas station bathroom. If she hadn't, there would have been stares and perhaps a security guard called at the sight of her when she entered the hotel.

Krillin couldn't bring himself to do the same.

He felt filthy, lying on this clean bed in this anonymous hotel room Juuhachigou had rented. "Never stay in the cheapest place you can find. They'll plan on that." Who 'they' were, Krillin didn't know and still didn't understand. She'd whispered it to him while he outside the lobby, leaning against a wall that shielded him from the people inside. Since he hadn't been able to stop his eyes from leaking, she'd left him outside to wait for her. Like a dog.

_Cold or pragmatic? _

Krillin hadn't even thought of leaving. Now or then. He had murdered a man for her, and he wouldn't leave her.

Once again, he'd won with a girl again.

Juuhachigou had kept one hand on his shoulder, or held his hands in one cold grip, as though he would fly away. Once he'd dreamed of flying as a boy, but such a feat was beyond him. So had murder, he'd thought. Now, maybe through the long miserable night that was a nightmare he couldn't wake up from, he'd sprouted wings.

When they slept, when she'd slept, she'd continued to touch him. Not comforting exactly. Or maybe it was, in her own way. Krillin flinched every time she shifted, listening to her breathing, and hearing only the old man's gurgling last breathe.

It was his reward.

This was nothing like the last time they'd shared a bed.

They'd continued to hold hands, even now. The short hero stroked her fingers with his thumb, seeing the bruises. Juuhachigou still hadn't explained how she'd gotten them.

If he hadn't pulled that trigger, they wouldn't be in this room. She might have died. He had saved her, saved her completely from a mad man's sick demands and twisted whims. If the scientist hadn't killed her then, he would have later. Her and her brother.

Poor Juurokugou.

But he felt no pride.

Only a sick relief. Now, hearing her steady breathe and when she opened her eyes finally, he cried again. _I love you, I do. I would kill him again if it meant that you stayed safe_. Juuhachigou petted him, silent. When she kissed him, he could nearly taste her own relief and perhaps her thanks. Was she ashamed of him, his tears?

"Krillin."

When was the last time she'd used his name? Her sighs in his head blocked out the wet gasps of the dying.

Krillin started to laugh hopelessly. The dry noise sounded like it could turn to sobbing at any second. He didn't know. "Juuhachigou, I thought you said that if we saw each other again, you wouldn't hurt me."

Her voice toneless. "I said I'd do my best not to."

Did she wish that she had been the one holding the gun? Juuhachigou might have been quick enough to pull the trigger and save Juurokugou. Or her brother, if he hadn't drove around, looking for Gero as they had both done throughout the time Krillin had met them. Her twin had been pissed to hear about the doctor's death. To his credit, he seemed more upset over losing Juurokugou. With his hair hanging into his eyes in a way Juuhachigou would never have allowed for herself, Juunanagou looked even more frightening than when they'd first met.

"I should have gone with you."

"It's done. It's over with." Her hand was still holding his, and Juunanagou's finally noticed. His only reaction was to narrow his eyes.

They ended up going their separate ways, how permanent Krillin didn't know. All he knew was that he and Juuhachigou went east, heading towards downtown, and her brother went westward, away from his only sibling. Krillin doubted they could be distant from each other for long, (they were twins, didn't that mean they were even closer than normal family?) but he didn't know anything about their relationship.

He did know that Juunanagou didn't like him, and if Juuhachigou wanted to be with him…But would she want that? Would she choose him over her brother?

For how long?

This is what they'd gotten, this was their reward.

* * *

In the midst of West City, in the squalor of lower downtown with its liquor stores and Laundromats and nail salons and overgrown lots and abandoned buildings and tenements that never failed to not have bars on the windows, the places that always had one or two angry people inside but never any cars out front, near the towers and high-rises and subways of the upper downtown and the low insidious looking banks, over the huge Western Public Health Hospital Complex, through the corporate parks and franchise restaurants, the gentrified townhouses to the east with the large grassy parks and bizarre abstract-modern statues built everywhere, the empty fields with the corporate buildings that looked precisely like pieces from a child's block set (squares precisely square, rectangles rectangular, regular closed geometry figures ruling as for as the eye could see) and factories that made either Capsule Corp furniture or Capsule Corp cars, the miles and miles of telephone wires and fences and unwashed cars, two people dressed in ridiculous costumes raced and bounded through.

It was the sight of justice.

And it sounded like:

"Krillin. Go get the damn gun."

"You get it! I'm fighting hand to hand. Honorably."

"Fine. Get shot."

"Okay. Okay. Just don't give me that icy glare. Makes my spine freeze. I'll go get the gun."

"It's underneath the car seats."

"By the crate of magazines Master Roshi left, right?"

"...yes. We need to get our own car. And our own house."

"Now, now."

"Did you forget about the cameras they set up? The holes drilled in the wall? The elaborate network of mirrors they arranged?"

"He's like a father to me. I can't imagine not living there."

"Just imagine the opposite of a nightmare."

"They're family. Juuhachigou. Family."

"Stockholm's Syndrome."

"I don't see you rushing out to get a job so we can live on our own."

"As though you work nine to five, yourself."

"But I don't mind not having much money."

"That's the problem with you."

"Besides the shortness and lack of nose?"

"Oooh, I don't mind that."

"Oooh, is that right?"

"Not now. Wipe that expression off your face. After we get this asshole."

"Have I ever mentioned how you're the best motivational coach ever? You should teach seminars. Classes. Workshops. I would pay to go to them."

"Stop leering. Go get the gun."

And on Thursdays:

"Do either of you feel pressured, uncomfortable. Forced?"

"Into what? Helping people? Well, when someone's being held hostage."

"...is this some comment on me hurting Krillin?"

"Now. Why would you say that, Juuhachigou?"

"Don't you raise your eyebrows at me. You clearly directed the question to him."

"The question is for everyone."

"Um. Juuhachigou doesn't hurt me. Much. Anymore."

"...shut up, Krillin."

"I think it's clear you two are suffering from communication problems."

"What? I thought we were here to brag about our latest 'heroic acts'? That's why we're sitting in uncomfortable unpadded metal chairs in some disgusting old man's basement. Who the hell even frames porn, and the puts it on their walls?

"Not couple's therapy. Though God knows you and Oolong could use some."

"I just saved a burning school building-"

"That's enough Goku. I just think you two are not on the same wavelength."

"Now, that's not fair. Of course we are. We totally connect. On every level. Utterly."

"'Every level'?"

"Oh, so that's what this is about; you want to hear about our damn sex life."

"Jeez. Master."

"Clear the blush from your face, boy. I asked nothing of the sort."

"Why not just come out and ask? You filthy pervert."

"Since you insist. How is your sex life? Does the superhero outfits help with certain kinks and fetishes, or have you grown tired of the leather-wearing-alley-chasing-adrenline-rich time together."

"Huh. Is that an exit I see over there?"

"Hehehe. Do you now put on dress wear in the boudoir? New uses for ties?"

"...how about we talk about Goku's goddamn eating disorder?"

"...I don't think eating a lot is a disorder."

"Shut up, Krillin."

"I guess someone's not going to enjoy that sex life tonight."

"Shut up, Yamcha."

"I need a shower from this entire experience. Stop looking at me. Especially _you_."

"So, tell us, Juuhachigou, what's your relationship like with your father?"

"...I think I'd prefer to go bag to listening to Goku's bragging. How did you save the school building, Goku?"

"I think we've made great strides today. Next week, we'll get started on your self-esteem and what compelled you to date Krillin."

"_Hey_."

"The obvious sub-dom struggle of your relationship. The hero and nemesis becoming lovers. The clear cliché."

"Tell that to Bulma and Vegeta. Wait. What was that about 'sub-dom'?"

"The easily dominated 'weak' male and the domineering woman. In leather. The disturbing way the Sunday news caught the two of you looking at each other after defeating that blob monster. The fighting positions the cameras have caught you in. The torn clothing. His low self-esteem. Your own control issues, Juuhachigou.

"How that porn parody, excuse the phrase, 'skewed' your relationship. The use of whips no one was surprised at. When we watched it last week, we all just nodded knowingly at the screen."

"What do you mean, 'we'? You watched that movie? _All of you_?"

"Krillin argued that you didn't use any whips. We have our understandable doubts. Did you and Krillin watch it?"

"_All _of you sat in this basement and watched _that movie_?"

"Yeah. Then we got to the part of the movie with Vegeta forcing Bulma, (at least I think it was supposed to be them) into making him a utility belt by using sex. That was weird. So was the part with the stupid guy with weird hair having sex with that angry screaming woman."

"Oh. _Goku._"

"I've never seen a room full of people all squeezing their nose bridges as I have now."

"Except me of course. Me, the 'weak' male."

"Please. A shower."

"So you have nothing to say to the kinky sex you've been accused of having with Krillin. No explanation of your speedy withdrawal after a victory and the lengthy disappearance afterwards. The languid attitude when you finally decide to show up again? The disheveled hair?"

"Any comment? Any dirty details from either of you. Don't just blink at me and swallow in horror, son. We can all sense it. It rolls off you two."

"I should have killed you all when I had the chance."

"Your denial, your lack of eye contact..." Master Roshi wiped his sunglasses on his brightly patterned shirt. "I sense a real breakthrough on the horizon."

* * *

"Okay, what you have to do is," Krillin pointed and tried to demonstrate with a vague hand movement. "Just crack the window a little."

"I don't understand why I can't just drop in. There's only one guy."

He shook his head. After nearly a year of working together, she should have known better than to simply dismiss someone as just one guy. One guy had shot at Krillin last week, and the month before that one guy had gotten close enough to stab her. Sure, they both survived and only Juuhachigou had so much as a flesh wound. But that didn't mean the next one couldn't be the one to finally do them in.

Weren't there plenty of hero couples, where eventually one of them died? There was a brief memory of some guy with laser eyes losing his girlfriend after she went nuts. At the time, Krillin had just shaken his head over that, and was told by a wise-sounding-to-a-fourteen-year-old-boy-Yamcha that bitches were just crazy. Bulma had overheard and literally kicked his ass, only driving the lesson home.

It worried him as always. And no matter what she said, he still would have moments of doubt about their profession. If you could call it that. Since they didn't pay taxes and were off the grid in some sense, and half of them still didn't have a social security number, it was hard to think of them as productive members of society. But, still, wasn't like they weren't helping people. It's just…

Wouldn't it be better if they settled down? Then they could, well, he wasn't sure. He didn't breach the subject of marriage or family with Juuhachigou. She seemed to have mixed feelings, willing to babysit the others kids, but always breathing a sigh of relief when someone picked them up and took them home. Collapsing into his shoulder and exhaling with an exaggerated, 'thank god.' Slowly turning her attentions to him on their place on the couch, like she was rubbing in the fact that there were no little Juuhachigous and Krillins running underfoot and running their privacy. Until Master Roshi or Oolong came up with the video camera and leers, wanting proof that she was indeed their friend's girlfriend.

Then she would throw things and threaten to get her gun while Krillin twiddled his thumbs and waited for her to come back.

It was easier just to sit back and let her burn off steam. Like their big ongoing argument over his uniform that she wanted to redesign it, reinforce it, wasn't it time since he no longer fought with Goku much anymore to ditch the orange suit and blue body armor? At least get rid of the black and white signal that read KameMan? And really, that name wasn't exactly amazing either. Why not try something in red, he looked handsome in red, just give it a shot?

All you could do was sigh and let it go. Take the compliment, and otherwise ignore her suggestion.

Still, though, there were some things his mind wouldn't reject. Stuff he had to go to like a tongue to an aching tooth. Stuff such as, _Could she even have kids? Could we raise kids doing this stuff? Would we raise them to fight crime as well? _

_Did she even want kids? Did she want _his _kids?_

Krillin forced his mind away from that. The worst thing in the world was to go into these situations with a cloudy mind-that's what got people killed.

"One armed guy, with a gun pointed at my friends' head. He was strong enough to grab the entire gang."

"Look, I'm sure I can hit him from that angle on the roof."

He saw Juuhachigou creeping through the building, letting go a rain of bullets just to make sure that she hit the crazed gunman. He saw a literal rain of blood flying onto the walls, while his friends managed out last scream. Her shrugging and saying at least she'd stopped the bad guy while Krillin had to go out and tell Chi-Chi and Bulma that their husbands were dead.

"Fine,_ I'll_ do it."

"Why can't I do it?"

She would throw him through the plate glass just on principal if he told her that he wasn't sure she would be precise enough. Juuhachigou took her sharp shooting skills very seriously. If Krillin said that he worried about her being hurt, an even touchier subject, she would make sure to prove those sniper abilities.

Ironic, too, as Krillin was right besides her and wouldn't be hard to miss with her rifle when she shot him to make her point. "Because."

"Why?"

"Why can't _I_ go?"

"All I'm saying is, it's not like I'm carrying your love child, and can't take down one gunman. I'm not helpless."

"So I'm carrying your love child instead?"

"It's _our _non-existent love child, Krillin."

"Are _you_ saying that you aren't really pregnant?"

"…You know, why don't you go down there and wrestle with the lunatic psycho?" Juuhachigou scowled, but otherwise remained seated on the roof. "Really. I'm fine. I'll just watch as you're brutally murdered."

"This is why I adore you so." He grabbed the gun, the smell of the grease making his stomach queasy. Though after working with Juuhachigou for so long, he knew he should have grown used to it. A strict martial artist she was not. "Name the baby after me."

"Too bad I didn't bring any popcorn, or a camera," was her parting hiss as Krillin crawled along the fire escape of the crumbling brick building.

* * *

He stared up at the creature, all dark green skin speckled in black. It was definitely not Freiza or any of his henchmen as far as Krillin was aware of. "Uh, who are you? Er. What are you?"

It grinned. The thing had a beak, and his long fingered taloned hand looked wrong holding a gun. Its slit eyes were set in a pair of pink orbs on an emaciated thin face. A black jewel-like thing on its forehead glistened in the light. Distinctly, the monster looked like a bird and a lizard crossed. There were odd blue bands around the joints of his shoulders, knees ankles. As horrifying a sight as he made already, the sight of a twitching tail topped with what looked like a stinger was worse.

"You don't know me. But I definitely know you, Krillin." Its words were an inhuman hiss. Definitely not a dude in a costume.

"Perhaps you knew my creator though. Dr. Gero?"

Suddenly, the short man noticed the bundles of clothing lying around. There was placed oddly, as though the person wearing them had turned into a vapor and left them. Belts were still buckled, shirts tucked in, socks nestled into shoes.

"What is all this?"

The sound of grunting made him turn his head. His friends were tied up, some unconscious, others awake like Vegeta, and visible upset or pissed off. Tien and Piccolo were knocked out, blood trickling slowly from scrapes on their heads and arms. Yamcha was trying to kick them back awake. Goku's hair was a mess, as it usually was when he was particularly worked up, and his eyes held a particular fury that made Krillin glad to not be this thing. Left leaning against the dirt wall, with their cuts and bruises, they matched the grim setting despite their bright uniforms.

"Oh, your friends got into my way." The monster dismissed them all with a flick of its fingers. "Now, if you would be so kind as to answer one of my questions. Where are those twins Gero let loose to kill Goku? Obviously, they failed."

"But you aren't the types to kill enemies. Better to put them in prison to allow them to plot their escapes and revenges. Now, where are they?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." He sounded nervous to even his own ears. Thank god Juuhachigou hadn't come in here. But she was just outside, waiting. Eventually she would find a way inside if only to hear what was going on. Luckily as well, this creep hadn't found her brother.

If he found Juuhachigou…Krillin couldn't even wrap his mind around that possibility. His brain refused to even consider it, rejected it. Of course, he didn't know what this monstrosity wanted from them. He just knew that he would never allow her anywhere near this thing.

"I will find them on my own." The tail swished languidly, every hiss of it pass through the air a warning. "Of course."

Juuhachigou might have already seen this monster, and be escaping as they spoke.

"But if you want to make things easier on your friends, you should tell me where they're located. Now."

The needle tip of the creature's tail narrowly missed Goku's head, stabbing and burying itself in the grimy steel. His tall partner's eyes barely narrowed as the black speckled appendage yanked itself out of the wall.

"Why make things more difficult for us all?"

She could have left and gone to find her brother.

"It's fate that I find them, anyway."

To hide and find safety somewhere.

"Nothing to be escaped."

Gone to ground.

"I'm not telling you a single thing! Now untie my friends."

Krillin could almost _feel_ Juuhachigou rolling her eyes. _'Moron. Why warn the enemy?' _

_'To give them a chance.'_

"You will tell me where they are!"

_'Why would you want to do that?'_

_'Well, I gave you a chance. And look how well that turned out.' _

_She would just snort. 'Oh please. You only spared me so you could look up that stupid nurse's skirt.'_

_'That's not true. I needed a date to Goku and Chi-Chi's wedding, after all.'_

Someone was yelling, painfully, Piccolo and behind her golden face Krillin could see the needle of the creature's tail bury itself in his green-skinned companion's arm. A bulge formed in the thing's tail, like a snake swallowing a mouse, was it eating Piccolo? The screams of the tall pointy-eared fighter were enough to even make Vegeta wince. When the monster pulled the tail out, purple blood came splattering out to freckle his friend's faces and the nearby wall.

_And Juuhachigou would just smirk and lean in close to him, close enough to nearly touch him and make the world perfect. 'I guess that worked out well for you.'_

_'Very.' And then he would close the gap to kiss her and everything _

His orange beak was pulled up in the corners. A smile? "If you won't help me then, you can join the rest of your friends."

"Krillin, run!" Goku, sounding so strong that Krillin wanted nothing more than to believe in him and do what he said. "Get out of here!"

_would be_

"You're not going anywhere!"

_perfect._

Then he was being shoved aside by a large hand (three fingers?). Thrown into a wall, Krillin was able to surmise from the pain in his back as it contacted something solid. So obvious. Juuhachigou would be laughing at how slow he was, some detective, heh. And with his chin hitting his chest and everything blurred out slipping away including his body falling sideways, he was definitely about to pass out even though he wanted to get up

to warn Juuhachigou

Something rolled down towards his face, something round and familiar like the head of one of his action figures that Juuhachi mocked him about and yet had bought paints and kits for whenever the mood set on her, or something particularly badass caught her eye. Truly, between them the amount of websites bookmarked of online toy auctions was really embarrassing…

The choking cloud of smoke rose out and up of that round thing and ah, like Bulma's-

He didn't hear his body falling onto the concrete floor.

* * *

"Okay, just move him gently. Don't hit his head!"

"Sorry! Sorry!"

"Tell that to him, oh wait, you can't because he's unconscious and probably suffering from a concussion!"

"Why are you yelling at me instead of Kakarotte? It's not _my_ fault, woman!"

"You should be watching out for him more. I mean, what do you think Juuhachigou's going to do when she hears-"

"Why would I care?"

"If she hears-"

Vegeta broke into Bulma's rant to say. "If she hasn't been absorbed by that thing."

"Shut up! I'm sure Juuhachi's—"

"Juuhachigou?" Krillin's voice sounded thick and sleepy, his eyes remaining closed. "The baby…"

"Wait. Did he say 'baby'?"

"You don't think…"

"God," Goku rubbed his mouth, looking guilty. He rubbed a chest, heavy with probably heartburn and heartache.

"Told you Goku. You screwed up."

"We really have to get him to the hospital. That can't be good to be unconscious for so long."

"Have to go get Juuhachigou and save her, too."

"We need a plan. Say, did one of you call 911?"

"I don't know. Man, Piccolo's bleeding pretty bad here," Yamcha was sweating heavily from the weight of the large fighter.

"My ears are still ringing."

"Look, the ambulance is here already. Help me with Piccolo."

"That purple-haired paramedic looks _awfully_ familiar..."

"You guys. I, I-does anyone have an antacid?"

Bulma was practically breathing out sparks. "So what's the plan? Find Juuhachigou, crush the evil bug, and do it all by dinner time?"

"It's starting to hurt here."

"It should. It's punishment for not saving Krillin. Is that Gohan, in the ambulance?"

"What's he doing there? He's not hurt."

"He's running over here. With the purple-haired guy."

"Probably heard about that monster. Hold Piccolo's head. Help me get him onto the gurney, Tien. Goku, put Krillin up here."

"He's waking up. Just sit back, Krillin. You got hit by that _thing_. Yeah. He's going after Juuhachigou. Don't move. We're taking you to the hospital."

"I'm going to go out and squash that insect. And maybe the blonde machine as well."

"Vegeta, just wait. He managed to beat you-"

He turned on Goku. "And now I'll defeat him! You just stay here and deal with your _heartburn_, Kakarotte. Leave the fighting to the real warriors."

The paramedic burst into their conversation with a grim, "You're going to need Goku's help."

"Wha-Who're you? And how do you know Goku's name?"

"Just wait. We need to get Piccolo and Krillin some help. But you can't rush out and defeat that monster alone."

"What do you know about it, boy?"

"Let's just say I've had a run-in with him. And Gero's other creatures. I need to speak with you," the last comment was directed at Goku.

"Seriously. It burns you guys. It, it's really getting painful."

"I have medicine in the ambulance to give you, Goku. But it's important that none of you run off. We have to stick together to defeat that guy. I, I brought Gohan here."

"Who are you, anyway? How do you know everyone's names? Did Gohan tell you?"

The purple-haired man's face looked gaunter. "No, I, uh. That monster. He went after that android, didn't he?"

"How do you even know any of that? What's your name? Are you wearing Capsule Corp gear?"

"Uum. You guys?"

"What_ is it_, Yamcha?"

"Krillin's gone."

"_What_?"

Eye as blue as Bulma's widened. "We have to go get him. He can't beat Cell on his own."

"I know. Damnit Krillin. What are you thinking?" Bulma directed the next comment at everyone, "What is _with _you stupid heroes and running off with no plans?"


End file.
